Rants, Random Thoughts, and General Skullduggery
Part VI- Initiatives, Hints, and Indications
Guest Webmaster
Tim Smith
How come when a lane ends on a road it’s never the middle one?
Rather than assuming there are no more socks, you should probably check and make sure.
On cnn.com, there was a feature story on the front page about the death of Coretta Scott King. The picture however, was of Oprah Winfrey. Who the hell cares if Oprah mourned? Coretta Scott King was the wife of the most important figure in the history of human rights. Oprah is a spotlight craving, front running piece of pop culture crap. These two women have absolutely nothing in common except that they’re black. Who decided that Oprah’s an expert on human rights anyways? To me it appears that all Oprah knows about human rights is how it’s allowed her to profit from the agony and suffering of others. Whenever some random injustice affects a black person, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson appear, ejaculating robotic sayings about civil rights all over the faces of the mass media. Now, apparently, Oprah has become one of these people who think they’re a positive representative for “their people.” If something bad happened to me, would people run to Drew Carey for comment because he’s also a fat, white guy with glasses? No! They wouldn’t because he doesn’t know a goddamn thing about me. If you want intelligent commentary on an issue, ask someone with knowledge, like a professor or author who’s actually studied civil rights, not someone who’s simply the same color as Coretta Scott King. Oprah can take her book club and her rollercoaster bodyweight and go straight to Hell. &*@# Oprah!
Join the Taco Nation.
I’m so excited now that the Winter Olympics have started because every day that goes by means there’s one less day of the Winter Olympics remaining.
My newest hobby is trying to gain patents for totally unmarketable inventions that stand no chance of making a profit for anyone anywhere. My latest idea is an ice maker that runs solely on ice. It produces only enough ice to keep it running. It also plays Barbra Streisand music whenever it’s in operation.
Don’t you kind of wish that deformed and misinformed meant the same thing?
My favorite stereotype is that of the poor college student because I’m able to contribute whole-heartedly to its continued reinforcement.
Nobody wants to be a soothsayer anymore.
If the Challenger twentieth anniversary elicited this kind of public and media attention, just imagine the repulsive levels of touchy-feely patriotism and blind Americanism that will be vomited upon us in the weeks surrounding the fifth anniversary of 9/11.
I’m going to open a cheese market called The Gouda Buddha.
Hurricane Katrina and the recent tornado in New Orleans prove that God’s pissed about something. I’ll let you decide whether it’s terrible sports teams, jazz, or flashing for beads.
Malcolm X vs. MLK will most likely be the next great video game franchise.
No human advancement, whether social, medical, spiritual, political, scientific, artistic, or economic, can ever erase the $1.8 billion worldwide box office gross of Titanic.
Say what you want about Jason Robida, but I admire a man with principles.
That’s enough, Pat.
Tim Smith is currently a music major at North Dakota State University. He is also the only white member of a household that includes an Asian, a Native American, and a Mexican. You can reach Tim at timothy.smith@ ndsu.edu.
