Rants, Random Thoughts, and General Skullduggery
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Tim Smith
So now that John McCain has picked Sarah Palin as his running mate, it looks like we are pretty much guaranteed to have either a black man or a woman in one of the top two political offices in the country. This doesn’t bother me at all, but I could see some people (the South) being upset about the possibility. This totally opens the door for an independent ticket with two old white guys on it to win the election. Pat Robertson, have you noticed this yet?
My neighbor’s dogs can go to hell.
Not that I am particularly fond of Norm Coleman, but I don’t see how he can possibly lose his senate seat to Al Franken. All he really has to do is show clips of Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live and he’s got the race wrapped up.
It seems like it’d been a long time since a hurricane attacked Texas. Too long if you ask me.
Just so you know, I wrote a really excellent article a few years back about alternative fantasy leagues that Chris refuses to post because it’s “too offensive.” If you want to see it, email Chris and/or enter his address into those “free porn in your inbox” sites.
I have actually heard of Sarah Palin receiving criticism because she’s too pretty. Seriously?! There are hundreds or even thousands of things to criticize her for and that’s what we come up with? I, for one, am not opposed to having an attractive woman in a high office. Not every female in politics has to look like Iron Box Thatcher. (I know Margaret Thatcher’s nickname was Iron Lady and not Iron Box. Don’t email me about it.)
Nothing against Sarah Palin’s slutty whore of a daughter, but isn’t this kind of the final blow against the whole “pro-life with abstinence as the only form of birth control” argument? Presumably, this girl was told her whole life that abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy, and she still got knocked up. I don’t think the Palins’ parenting should necessarily be called into question, but it certainly makes one think that condoms and birth control pills should be readily available at schools. I tend to think of myself as pro-life, but I refuse to jump on the wagon because pro-life advocates seem to be anti-fucking rather than pro-life. I think we could start a third abortion issue faction called pro-responsibility that accepts that premarital sex is a pretty common thing nowadays and just encourages people to use some form of protection as an alternative to abortion. You know, prevention rather than treatment? I know it’s crazy but I think it might actually work if we all pull our heads out of our asses a little bit.
Will someone please inject Lance Armstrong with osteoporosis or something so we don’t have another gay-ass bracelet revolution?
It’s times like this that I wonder why the hell we continue to rebuild New Orleans on an annual basis. Can’t we just fill it in with dirt and bury all the Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and Reggie Bush? See, it’s funny because I included Reggie Bush in a list of STDs. Haha! It’s also sort of ironic since he used to be a Trojan in college.
It’s a good thing Caylee Anthony’s name isn’t Carlita Alvarez, or no one would even give a shit.
I really don’t like the idea of further government intervention in the economy, but it’s clearly necessary because of the idiots that are chosen to run financial institutions. I would like to delude myself that businesses have some level of altruism, but clearly, the people who are able to reach executive level are motivated solely by the acquisition of stuff. Yeah, stuff rules. Stuff…stuff…stuff…stuff…stuff…stuff.
Don’t worry, Paris Hilton’s dogs were, in fact, not eaten by a coyote. I know that’s a load off.
Tim Smith recently graduated with a degree in music from North Dakota State University. He was once the only white member of a household that included an Asian, a Native American, and a Mexican. You can reach Tim at timothy.smith@ ndsu.edu.
