Rants, Random Thoughts, and General Skullduggery
Prejudicial Bigotry and Other Silliness
Guest Webmaster
Tim Smith
Have you ever wanted to drown in a sea of hate?
I’ve thought about writing a book, but I’m afraid that if I did, it would just be viewed as thinly-veiled racist rhetoric, because that’s all it would be.
Ethnic cleansing seems preposterous to me because no matter how hard you scrub, they’re still going to be brown.
There’s a nondescript pouch in my backpack that’s apparently supposed to hold a portable CD player, but I keep desert recipes in it.
I’m pretty sure that if you punched Greg Kinnear once, you wouldn’t be able to make yourself stop punching him. I’m also pretty sure no one would really care.
Blond eyelashes are a sign of weakness.
Have you ever been mad enough to want to beat up a random, anonymous, hot girl?
Next time there’s someone following you at a fair distance and you both intend to enter a building, hold the door open and look right at them so they feel obligated to run so they can acknowledge your polite gesture.
If I were an Islamic fundamentalist, I would have Venetian blinds in my tent.
Most people are unaware that their position in heaven or hell is determined by the number of free cell games they won in life.
Is the sloth a sinful animal by its very nature?
Remember that song about getting married in the chapel of love? Well I want to get married in a chapel of depraved indifference.
I haven’t said, “Ooof,” in response to anything in twenty-three years.
As far as I can tell, there have always been white supremacists, and now there are Korean and Islamic supremacists, but when are we going to see American Indian supremacists? I’m just kidding, that’s silly. Not even Indians could be that delusional.
It seems like sexist and rapist should be fairly similar concepts, but they’re not.
Hey George Bush: Thailand collapsed from a democracy into a military dictatorship. We’d better pretend that they have weapons of mass destruction and go “eff them in the eh.”
I realize that making sexual advances towards children is probably a bad idea, but can we please dispense with referring to them as innocent? Doesn’t anyone remember high school? Kids are cruel, malicious backstabbers, and most of them probably deserve to be the victims of humiliating molestation. So give Foley a break, huh?
Does it make you uncomfortable to know that I had an erection when I wrote this?
Ears are fucking weird.
“The Skin Bin” would be a good name for a bar in a leper colony.
Tim Smith is currently a music major at North Dakota State University. He is also the only white member of a household that includes an Asian, a Native American, and a Mexican. You can reach Tim at timothy.smith@ ndsu.edu.
