Rants, Random Thoughts, and General Skullduggery
What is Rock n' Roll?
Guest Webmaster
Tim Smith
Rock and roll is seven grown men simultaneously urinating into a kettle
drum.
Rock and roll is a young boy holding a baby seal and balancing on one
foot
on an empty Barenjager bottle.
Rock and roll is thirty-five midgets doing the wave in a public
restroom
stall.
Rock and roll is Liza Minelli standing in a phone both cooking a
meatloaf.
Rock and roll is a weeping dog.
Rock and roll is that sensation you experience right before getting
into a
gruesome car crash.
Rock and roll is caressing the face of a nun who’s passed out from an
overindulgence of glue sniffing.
Rock and roll is wearing a human diaphragm as a hat and smoking a roll
of
pennies.
Rock and roll is hiding under a broccoli plant.
Rock and roll is a tuba full of rum.
Rock and roll is a Hindu play troupe performing Hamlet in Abu Ghraib
prison.
Rock and roll is Yanni in a thong.
Rock and roll is wearing a blond wig and spiking the punch at a high
school prom when you’re forty-five.
Rock and roll is laying in the street whimpering in response to the
closing of your local Planet Hollywood.
Rock and roll is Gene Simmons and Carmelo Anthony sponsoring a NASCAR
team
together.
Rock and roll is defecating into the coffee pot at a church sewing
circle
meeting while singing “America”.
Rock and roll is beating a rhinoceros with a thirty pound sack of
celery.
Rock and roll is losing your place in an Agatha Christie novel.
Rock and roll is nine hundred Jews throwing pennies at a macaw parrot
in a
grocery store in Arizona.
Rock and roll is a light switch that turns a corn stalk on and off.
Rock and roll is a five gallon pail full of ninja feet.
Rock and roll is eating a leprechaun for Thanksgiving.
Rock and roll is hunting tundra swans.
Rock and roll is throwing a surprise party to celebrate hemorrhoids.
Rock and roll is joining a police officer slapping league.
Rock and roll is a skeleton styling King Kong’s back hair.
Tim Smith is currently a music major at North Dakota State University. He is also the only white member of a household that includes an Asian, a Native American, and a Mexican. You can reach Tim at timothy.smith@ ndsu.edu.
