Well, you may not hate me for this (Erin Wirtz will NEVER hate me, I also note), but sometimes I have a few things to talk about that are on my mind each day. You know, just random thoughts that run through my head at night when I'm trying to get to sleep and whatnot, or perhaps thoughts that are there with me when I wake up in the morning. Enjoy these thoughts if you agree, or burn down my house if you don't.

Some Notable Song Lyrics
2002 Notes by Christopher
2001 Notes by Christopher

December 30, 2003

And so comes my last entry for 2003, and I'm glad to say that the year is finally ending. I have found that 2003 has been a long journey through all sorts of weather and terrain, and I feel as though I have aged beyond a number that I can not identify. But, the year is over, and even though there is only one day seperating 2003 and 2004, I will feel better knowing that it will be a new year for me.

The year has ended well, at least. Christmas was nice, with many relatives flowing in and out of the house while I was home. My sister was in town, and it was nice to hang out at home for a few days with my mom and dad. Dad quit smoking and is doing well, and mom is on a diet, having lost fifty pounds already. I'm thrilled to see them doing so well. My sister is the usual smart character. She's wise beyond belief, and some of the things she says still amazes me. We all made out pretty well on gifts, and it was a nice time in Minot.

I made the trip to Bismarck for Justin and Carmen's wedding, and it was a nice time overall, with the exception of the incredibly awful weather we got on Saturday night. I got some time to visit with Bryon, Chrissy, Sara, and Jenn Braus while there. It was like a reunion of the "old-timers". A wonderful time, indeed. Also, I got to see Dawn Mosbrucker and Grant Lauinger, my great high school friends from Mandan. So, I got to see my buddy get married, I got to visit with old friends, and enjoyed some delicious cocktails and such. Great times, indeed.

And, now I will close out the year of 2003 on the site with my best wishes to all for a most wonderful 2004. Take care, and I'll see you next year...

December 19, 2003

What have I been doing for the last eight days? Well, let's see, last Friday was a great one- a break from all of the crap that's been going on for the last, oh, I guess five months now. I finally found a Friday night to go out and see Tripp 40. They were playing in Moorhead, so I knew I had an extra hour to have some fun. Me and several of my good friends took full advantage of those extra minutes, throwing down one hell of a party. Chaus was there with Keira. Emily Hunt was around, along with Dano, Kirsten, Tanya, Benny, Jenny, Jim Larson, Emily Tintes, Joel, and more. We had one great party. The only early departures were Kirsten and her babysitter, Dano. The rest of us closed that bar down. The band played well, and we made the bar some money. Good times. It was a proper end to a week that hadn't felt so great.

This week, my car died for good, and I'm not sure it could've come at a more inconvenient time. This week was the final week of school, I had gigs and rehearsals to get to, I had work to get to, I needed to get some final moving done, and most importantly, I needed to get to Minot for Christmas. I hate cars. Cars hate me. Period.

Tim, Eddie, and I moved the rest of our belongings into the house yesterday. It's good to finally have most everything there. Tim has yet to unpack, but he built bridges just by finally moving in the damned place.

The NDSU Brass Quintet went Christmas caroling on Wednesday, and I think it's one of the most enjoyable things we do during the fall semester. We went to five different nursing homes in Fargo and played about 15-20 minutes worth of music for them. This is the second year that we've done it. It's nice to get out there and play for some people who don't get to hear live music much anymore. Plus, it's happy music that the performers can enjoy as well.

Not much left for me now, just two gigs with JAG, then I head on home. I just got done playing graduation over at the Fargodome. I can survive two more days, then get my ass home for a few days before heading off to the wedding in Bismarck. The site will not be updated for at least a week, but what else is new? Dan hasn't updated in over two months. I guess he's too busy doing laundry.

Anyhow, Merry Christmas to you all, and I'll have more in about a week and a few days...

December 11, 2003

Hey, all, how are we all doing these days? I've certainly had better streches of time, but I guess things aren't really that bad overall. The biggest news, of course, is the fact that I got most of my vital stuff moved into the new place on 8th avenue. It's an older house converted into a couple of apartments, and I really like it a lot. It's very cozy, to say the least, and I'm really glad to be there. Everyone should stop by and check the place out. It's a nice place to have a "party by appointment", as I like to call it. We can have six or seven people over for dinner and cocktails. Ok, for the special people, we can do dinner and cocktails. For everyone else, it's snacks and beer. By, are any of my friends really that picky? I think not. Everyone- give me a call, come see the new home.

Things have been shakey around here, or at least that's the way I see it. I have found myself feeling increasingly nervous about staying here in Fargo much longer. I just feel like the window of opportunity has really closed up tightly. I know you've seen this ranter before on this site, and I've always ran through it somehow, but this time around, it's really different, and I don't really know what to do about it. I just feel so much more distanced from some of my best friends right now. It's not anything that they've done. I guess with so many of my friends getting into new jobs, new activities, new relationships- you name it, things have just changed. I never considered myself "high maintenance", but the more I look at myself, the more I realize that I am indeed that. It's not a real wonderful thing to feel, but I guess I'm moving on and doing alright in the end. I need to wake up, eat, work, play some music, and see or talk to at least one friend a day, and I can survive. What's the line from the slightly overplayed Matchbox 20 song- I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell? Yup...they hit it right on the spot, didn't they.

I talked to Jeremy Middleton last night, and again, he suggested that I move to Florida. You know what- it's sounding seriously like a great idea. Is it time for a change? I guess we'll just see about that...

November 28, 2003

I’m sitting here in Minot right now just being lazy and doing nothing. As I write this message, I am stewing over the fact that my mom and dad’s computer hates me and will not allow me to send my website updates to the server. So, though I am writing this on Friday, November 28, it will not be posted until Sunday night, I guess. Oh, well, what can you do?

Thanksgiving was nice and laid back here at home. I ate a lot of turkey and other stuff, which as always, was delicious. Uncle Jack and Aunt Yvonne came up from Bismarck, and we caught up on a handful of issues in the world, which was nice. We watched the Lions beat my Uncle Jack’s beloved Packers, which didn’t bother me at all. I held back my cheering since I didn’t want to get killed. The Cowboys got racked up on by the Dophins, but what did we really expect in that game.

The last few nights, I’ve spent sitting online chatting with everyone back in Fargo, actually. It’s kind of funny that I leave Fargo to come home to Minot, then spend a huge amount of time online talking to all those people that I just got away from! But, that’s alright, I enjoy the time online, which I don’t get to have so much of when I’m in Fargo. I’ve embarked on a huge website updating plan, and hopefully I have plenty done when I leave here. I feel like a really lazy jerk right now as I sit here without anything in particular to do, but in a lot of ways, it’s just really nice.

Tomorrow is another playoff day in Division II, and I will be rooting for Winona State to beat up on the Sioux. I have high hopes that the Sioux will not repeat at champions once again. I’m still steaming from the fact that the Bison didn’t make the playoff despite their win-loss margins in all of their big games. Sure, they lost three games, but look at who they beat- Montana and Nebraska-Omaha. Also, take a look at how badly we wooped up on all those other teams, including our shut out game and our blowout of Concordia-St. Paul. It’s a travesty that we didn’t make the playoffs, in my opinion, and I think we would’ve given some of these teams a good run for their money in our final year in the NCC.

Tim and I have found a place to move to. It’s an older place on 8th avenue just up the road from MeritCare. It’s a house converted into apartments, and it’s an old place much like the house we’re in right now. I think it’s two years younger than the house, actually. I look forward to getting in there next week. Though it is more expensive than what we have now, it will be warmer and I can totally appreciate that after three winters of freezing to death in the middle of the night.

Well, that’s all I have for now, more to come shortly…

November 24, 2003

Another weekend has passed by, this being a National Guard weekend. I had a fairly good weekend, actually, with a PT Test at Fargo South that went well- that being that I passed the damned thing. My legs and arms ache, but that’ll go away sometime within the next few days, hopefully. Also, I was presented with a Soldier of the Month award for getting the show ready for Ev Rollie’s retirement, which was nice. I was glad to see that my work was appreciated, and the only thing that I wish is that the other cats in the group could’ve gotten the recognition, after all, they played and worked just as hard as me. I just made some calls, arranged the rehearsals, and prepared the music. Anyhow, Saturday night was a good time at the Legion with Jennifer and her brother, along with Jennifer’s roommate and Eddie. We drank beer, we had some fun, and enjoyed the evening. The post-evening entertainment came after the bars closed when Jenny (Thompson), Benny, Jim, and Nicole stopped by the house. They had just celebrated Nicole’s 21st.

This past week, I finally wrapped up the arrangement of a concert band piece for Paul Barta and his concert band at Oak Grove High School. Paul is putting it in Finale right now, and hopefully I’ll get to hear a run at the song sometime real soon, possibly this coming week. It’s a sing-a-long arrangement of a couple of Christmas tunes, and hopefully it sounds good. Cross your fingers.

Besides all of this, things are pretty much quiet in the world of Christopher. We have a couple of concerts coming up here soon, and couple of recitals which all should go check out. Thanksgiving is coming up this week, and I’ll get to go home for a few days and hang out with the dog and the family. It should be nice and relaxing. I’m riding back with Jessy Klimpel, so that should be interesting to say the least. We’ll have to tally up a scorecard for see who can make fun of the other the most. There will be heated competition.

Well, not much else to speak of, more to come in a few days, perhaps I’ll get on the computer at home in Minot and do some work there- a live report from Minot, if you will. More soon…

November 18, 2003

All is well on this rather mild Tuesday evening. The temps have been nice, though the wind has been rather cool. Some good things happened today with the American Brass Quintet here, our NDSU Brass Quintet played for them, and they had some really nice things to say. It was nice to play for such a professional bunch of guys, and I really did enjoy it.

I went and got some Chinese with Aaron Chapman and Erin Ott tonight, and for some reason, I got the same waiter I always get at the Grand Buffet. This guy is the biggest jerk to me, and I have no idea why. He never refills my drink until I bitch, and when he does refill it, it's only 1/2 full. He ignores me, but takes care of the other people that are with me. I don't know what his deal is, but I want to take him out back and hit him over the head with a broom stick. Someone tell me what I should do.

Lab band rehearsal was today, and we added a vibes player to the mix today. Her name is Magan Friskop, and she's one hell of a talented musician, at least from what I have seen. I have heard that she has done quite a bit of work on the mallets, and I guess I've noticed from the limited time I've seen her play in the Wind Ensemble. Anyhow, I just thought it was worth noting. She's a very good mallet percussionist, and can somehow make a woodblock sound musical. No kidding. She's kind of cute, too. Ha! I can not tell a lie.

Boy, what else is notable? Last night, Tim Stine paid Justin Gronfur $2 to make him a bagal with peanut butter and bring him a glass of milk. Tim is lazy. But, it was late and he was cold and didn't want to go anywhere. You know what- now that I think about it, this really isn't notable. It's not ever interesting in the least. I should really stop typing. More soon...

November 16, 2003

Well, it was a sad weekend in a couple of ways. First off, NDSU didn't make the playoffs despite playing one hell of a blowout at the Fargodome on Saturday. Despite losses by both Pittsburg State and Emporia State, we still didn't make the cut. The money game was Winona State vs. UM-Duluth, which we needed Duluth to win, and they didn't. So, anyhow, it was a good season for the most part and I'm proud of our team and coach. By the way, just where the hell is Emporia State at, anyhow?

Also, we enjoyed the final Gold Star Marching Band party at the house on Saturday night. A wonderful turnout made the evening special, and we enjoyed a 1am toast to the good times, along with Pat and Benny singing with me on piano, doing the ever traditional party song, Piano Man. We had some good tacos (it was a Mexican Fiesta theme party), danced to some fun music (and yes, even I danced...a little), and enjoyed some drinks throughout the 5-hour party. I really had a great time- probably one of the best times I've ever had at one of my parties. I'm still looking at having one final Christmas Party at the house, now. Tim and I move out of there around December 1st, but we have until December 22 to be totally out of the place, so all I can say is, stay tuned! Also, I hope to put up a seperate section of the site no later than Wednesday dedicated to the final party and the memories of our last 2 1/2 years of fun in the house.

Anyhow, all is well for the most part, I guess. More to come this week, I have some time on Tuesday and Wednesday to get some new work done on the site. Keep visiting...

November 11, 2003

Another weekend has passed by, and I’m still alive and kicking. I spent another mind-numbing night at work on Friday. It was good to see Chaus, Keira, Jenny, and Benny over at the hotel, as they stopped in for a nightcap after a night at the pre-Kiss party, hosted by Jessy. Sure wish I could’ve gone to that, actually. Jessy and Tim (Smith) were pretty pumped up about the show. Saturday was my first complete day off in a ages. It seems that the last two months of Saturdays have been clouded with football games, National Guard, or work. So, it was nice to just sit around on my big fat ass for a while and do nothing. I did get some cleaning done and some groceries purchased, and I found myself feeling so very domesticated once again. I listened to the heart-breaking NDSU vs. St. Cloud game, in which we lost in overtime. During the evening, I went to a rehearsal for my roommate Tim’s recital which I will have the honor of playing trombone in. After that, it was a night over at Playmakers with Benny, Jenny, Tintes, and Derek. It was a pretty fun night, although I drank too much. But, of course, what else is new? After the bar, I rode back to Ben’s place at NDSU, dropped by and visited the Robin and Erika apartment, and headed home. Church came much too soon in the morning, but it’s always fun to head out there and play with Chris Gould and Jesse Braunagel, so that was alright. Sunday was another lay-around-and-do-nothing day. It was nice to see the Vikings lose one more time. It reminds me that there’s another team out there who can start out hot and then get cold overnight. Of course, I’m comparing them to my team, the Broncos. Tim and I also went and looked at apartments Sunday evening, and we’re hoping to decide on something real soon.

I was thrilled to see in the papers this morning that there’s still a small chance that the Bison might make the playoffs. We have to pray for Duluth to win this Saturday, for a start. Then, we also have to pray that the Bison play well against Concordia-St. Paul. The scary thing about that is that Concordia-St. Paul is actually pretty good- they just won the Northern Sun Collegiate Conference. The not-so-scary thing is that they are ranked ninth in their region, and have no chance at the playoffs. So, if you’re a Bison fan and you’re able to get to the game on Saturday- well, get your asses out there and support the team. I want to go to the playoffs. Also, if it helps, the band is playing their student show one more time, and I’m excited to be a part of it one more time.

Not much else going on, I guess. It looks like there will be no fall concert band this year, which is somewhat of a bummer since I was looking forward to playing bass trombone in there. But, on the bright side of things, I get done with my day a little earlier, and I can start working some more hours so that I can afford the upcoming deposit on my new home, which hopefully Tim and I will find sometime in the next few days.

Well, today is Veterans Day, so take a moment out and think about all of the servicemen and women who have been a part of the military, either in combat or combat support, or in peacetime or wartime. It’s worth a moment of your day since most of you get the day off anyhow. If you have a flag, hang it up today. Just take a moment to reflect on the heroes who fought and died for the freedom you enjoy today.

Until next time, take it easy. Oh, and never take wooden nickels. They’re not worth a damned thing. Just a tip.

November 5, 2003

All is alright on this cold Wednesday night as I sit here in the lab typing up yet one more entry into the diary of C. Andrew Hanson online. Some good things have come and gone over the last few days. First of all, the jazz band concert on Friday night went pretty well overall. The jazz lab band played alright, and I must admit that being in that rhythm section is a great deal of fun. Tim Peske is a good bass player and one hell of an amusing creature. The jazz ensemble did some really good things, as well, with the most notable work coming out of Brian Wittkop. I was really impressed with his playing. He blew me out of the water and sent me crying back to the practice room. I need some new licks.

Saturday, we put the Eagles show before a crowd, and everything seemed to have went smoothly. I enjoyed my time on the ladder for sure, and the band looked and played well. I was extremely proud of them for working with me, the drill writters, and the drum majors. The student show seemed to be a success, and I was happy to be a part of the planning. Sunday's marching band concert was also fun, and I felt an incredible sense of pride as I conducted Take It Easy/Desperado that afternoon. There are not words to describe how it felt to be in front of the band as they pretty much laid out everything they had on those two pieces.

Monday was NDSU Music Day, and we saw a handful of prospective students visiting the campus and the department. It was a joy to see Mrs. Erin (Handy) Wirtz here at the school. We most certainly do miss her running around here spreading sarcasm thickly amoungst us. It was nice to chat with her for a minute, and I know that Dano would agree that it was nice to see her cute little smile, too.

We did concert band auditions today with members of the marching band, and I have volunteered to play bass trombone once again. I auditioned on it today, and almost died. That thing takes some air. But, I look forward to playing, and it's going to be neat to see if Patty-poo or Chaus take the top chair.

Tonight is the Brass Chamber Night, and I hope to hear some great brass playing. My quintet is really, really good, and I'm excited to play the Ewald tonight. Tanya, Andrew, Krisanne, and Sarah are all great musicians, and I look forward to our performance this evening.

So, I hope to survive the rest of the week. Tomorrow is our marching band banquet, so I'm excited to see what kind of goofy awards come to the surface. It'll just be nice to be there and relax with the band. This year has been the most enjoyable for me in the marching band for some reason, and I have no idea just why that is, but it's been fun. I may have one more year left in me if I take a shot at DM, but that's a handful of months away, so we won't worry about it for now.

Well, I really should go get ready for the show. Hope to see some of you there. Otherwise, more to come in a few...

October 30, 2003

Last night was Tim Smith's power hour, and by the time I got to Sports Bar to celebrate, I was already in a bad world of hurt! Benny and I went over the Doublewood Inn to warm up, and I ended up leaving pretty toasted. But, all in all, the night was pretty fun, and I needed to tie one on, anyhow, after having a somewhat distressful first few days of the week. Friday and Saturday will be better. Today was alright, I guess. I was pretty tired this morning, especially since I had to work at 7. But, I look forward to the football game, jazz band concert, and marching band concert this weekend. Here's to better days...

October 29, 2003

Today has been a pretty good day overall. I had the chance to finally get up on the ladder today and conduct the marching band. I had been waiting some time to do so, and it was a wonderful feeling. Then, the best part of the day came when I got in front of the band to conduct Take It Easy/Desperado on the stage of Festival Concert Hall. I almost broke into tears, and I'm not joking. It was a new feeling to be in front of that great band conducting one of my favorite songs ever, one which I had put so much time into making good. I won't forget the moment for a long, long time, and I look so very forward to getting in front of the band at the concert on Sunday. Hope you can somehow find a way to be there if you live nearby.

October 28, 2003

I am a slacker. I haven't been on the site for some days, and I am becoming a slacker. Sad, indeed. Well, at least I'm not as bad as Dano on updating. Things are alright here, I guess, though I feel that I am falling into a run once again. This happens once a year or so, and each time it happens again, I feel a little worse about how things are. I've started to consider moving out of town once again. I remember feeling this way just a year ago, and I guess over time, I got over it. But, I don't know. A huge part of me just wants to get up and get out of here. Things have been slow to come around for me with music in Fargo, and my frustration seems to rise each and every day. I have failed to find a relationship that would work, and each day alone is getting to be a little longer than the previous. I was hoping that moving home would find me the right one over time, but after a few tries here, I just don't know anymore. My jobs have begun to sag at times, and I've been passed over for promotions twice. There's a differant issue each day that I feel I have to deal with, and it's wearing on me. But, you know, I just need to truck along for a little bit. I can't move now, but I will be trying to make some more tough decisions quite soon. Stay tuned, I guess.

We had Guard this past weekend, and I am sad to say that we retired First Sergeant Everett Rollie this weekend. He has served as my adopted father for the past three years in the Guard Band, and has made my worst days quite pleasent with his way of encouraging soldiers to drive on no matter what. He has supported me and many of my friends in their musical endeavors, coming all the way from Devils Lake numerous times to see me play. He is a soldier that I have come to respect much more than any other in my military tenure, and I know that I will miss him a great deal. His jokes, stories, leadership, and playing skills will be missed in the 188th Army Band. Best luck to you, Ev.

The Eagles show is on the field, and I think we're going to be alright. After all of the trials and tribulations for all of us on the team putting the show together, we will see the fruits of our labor come to the top this Saturday when we perform. I have been extended a few minutes on the ladder for the show, conducting my arrangement of Hotel California, and I will be given a moment in the sun on Sunday at the Marching Band Concert, where I will conduct the work in which I put the most time into, the finale of the Eagles marching show, Take It Easy and Desperado. I look forward to the chances to be in front of the band, and I'm excited to see the show become a true and complete reality when we march on Saturday. I dare one of those ass clowns from the Bisonville.com Message Board to tell me that they didn't like the show.

All of the performing groups here at the college have been looking pretty good, most notably to me, the jazz band and the wind ensemble. Jazz combo has been shakey, but we always manage to pull a good show out in the end. Lab band is better than I ever remember it, and I'm having some fun playing keys and piano in there. Jazz band plays this weekend, and I look forward to playing our second show in as many months.

The NDSU Gold Star Band reunion went off well, and I had a blast. The whole weekend, with Homecoming included, was one of the best of the year. Friday night brought the band over to the reunion, where we performed a few songs for them, and then sang out alma mater with all of the alumni, which was a moment that I doubt I'll forget. That evening, I had a chance to visit with many of my old friends from my time in the band and beyond. All three Stordalen brothers were here, which was something I had never seen before. Many great memories were shared amoungst us, and many glasses of 22 oz. tap beers were consumed. On Saturday, we enjoyed watching the alumni band play, which was a treat. There were about 200 people playing, and they sounded great. The football game was a lot of fun, as we kicked some major ass in that event, and everything was just a blast. The party that night, the traditional Get Leid Party, was a very good time, as always. We opened the basement for that party, and we had a wonderful turnout. This, of course, was the last time I would host that party, with Tim and I moving out of the house in just over a month. That was a sad moment, but the party was great, and what more could you ask for?

The UND game was a tough loss for us, as we came in, as always, ranked well, and we lost. NDSU should've played better, and had chances to capitalize, but did not. Our offense played well overall, better than I had seen them do in a while, but our defense looked awful, particularly the coverage folks, from defensive backs to cornerbacks. All UND had to do all day was drop back and toss a quick pass left. Bobby Babich looked absolutely awful out there, and I was saddened to see that he started again this past weekend in Augustana. He should've left with his dad.

Well, I think I'm up to date for the most part. I'll try to get more in here if I think of it as we go along. I have a JAG rehearsal tonight, and I work in the morning, so I'll try to get more on the site tomorrow or the next day. More in a few, take it easy, friends...

October 1, 2003

The Eagles show looks like it's a go now, and I'm ever so relieved that things are going well with it. We rehearsed the music, and things are coming together. Only a few more cuts to go, and we're done. Drill will be penned soon, and I'm excited as hell to see what we do with it. The Student Show is a reality, and I'm glad.

Ok day, not a lot really happened. Shot pool tonight with Robin before she had to work on a statistics project. We broke even on the matches. I bought most of the jukebox music. It was all good. We listened to all of the Eagles tunes. It made me happy. The Eagles make me happy. Even Desperado makes me happy.

More tomorrow...

September 27, 2003

It's gameday, and I'm sitting on a computer working on my site. I'm just bored, I guess. Rehearsal this morning was alright, and I think we'll put a good show on the field today. I look forward to a football game, and I think the boys will do just fine. It'll be great. I'm feeling strangely optimistic about today. That's not usually me- I'm usually cautious of everything. But, cherish the moment, right?

It's been a real shakey couple of days. I've been confronted by a number of people about a number of issues, and some of that stuff has been emotionally draining, you know? I feel better in the end, but it's all the talking and understanding that comes before you find the light at the end of the cave- it's tough on a person. Perhaps this is why I feel so optimistic- because a number of issues have been talked about and perhaps solved for the time being.

I look forward to a good party tonight, despite Parents Weekend. I still expect a good number of people in the house tonight. I plan on drinking fairly heavily, as to just be happy that this week is over. I survived another one somehow. Drink, and be merry, right?

Well, more to come, I'm going to go get some soda and some beer, and put it on ice in preparation for the evening celebration. More in a few...

September 24, 2003

It's Wednesday, and I have survived yet another string of wonderful days at the Doublewood Inn. The hotel is somehow a part of my life. The place drives me absolutely nuts sometimes. Last night was no exception. Drunk people can be such jerks. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I even drink in the first place. I sure hope I don't act like those people.

Not a whole lot is going on these days, as usual. I've felt strange the last few days, but not in a really in such a terrible way. I feel like things are starting to pick up and change around here, but I don't have any feeling about it. I don't find myself terribly upset or angry right now. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, just like it has been for years now, really, but I've got no feeling about it. It's almost like I've made myself numb for now. I know what I want, and I don't know if any of it is going to come true or not, but I feel the winds of change starting to blow. Curiosity could kill the kitten.

The rest of this week will be nice. I have to work hard on my marching band piece, which is now on the verge of being taken out of the program for this year. I got pretty upset about it this afternoon when Dr. Olfert alerted me in a really nice way that my music pretty much lacked emotion, enthusiasm, creativity, climax...generally, he thought it sucked. That's what I got out of it, anyhow. I was pretty upset with myself for not doing well, and I have until Monday to put together a better, easier, shorter, less shitty product. Wish me luck. With a critic like Olfert who has been around marching music (Roland Barrett-type stuff) for years, he's not going to accept my what was called "Bill Moffit Sound Power Series" music. I still haven't decided whether that was just an example, or just another way of saying my arrangement was bland to the bone.

Well, more to come, I'm going to write up a set list for a gig on Sunday, then get home and have some beer. I need it.

September 22, 2003

Well, another weekend has come and gone. I spent most of my time working the 188th Army Band out in Bismarck. It’s funny how I often don’t look forward to going to Guard, but after the weekend is done, I find that I actually enjoyed myself. Funny how that works. This past weekend, the band traveled by bus to Bismarck to support the 164th Infantry Association Reunion. The band has been doing that for some years now, though their population has been decreasing at a rapid pace. See, the 164th was a North Dakota Army National Guard unit that saw time in World War II. So, many of the soldiers in that unit are reaching elderly heights and are passing away quickly. As a matter of fact, between last years reunion and this years event, 48 people died. Anyhow, it’s always a nice thing to go out and play for. We got out there Friday night, and I enjoyed many several cups of beer which the Bismarck Comfort Inn always provides when we come in. I spent a lot of time chatting with the likes of Paul Barta, Jennifer Teigan, Tim Knabe, and Steve Frasse. It was kind of nice to just sit back, enjoy some brew, and talk with some of my favorite people in the unit. However, it kept me up until nearly five in the morning. Morning came all too soon, of course, but we moved on with several evening performances from the Dixieland Band, the Concert Band, and the Jazz Band. Beer was enjoyed during the two and a half hour jazz band performance, which was good, because most of us wouldn’t have lived through it without the liquid encouragement. After the performance, Dano came by and picked me up, and we enjoyed a couple of drinks at the Bismarck Doublewood Inn lounge, then some breakfast at Denny's. The band got back to town around noon, and we had the day to ourselves.

Other notes of interest I guess include the fact that the NDSU Marching Band took a plug at my new Eagles show music. It was, well, interesting, I guess. I got a chance to hear what I did wrong with instrumentation. A lot of it seemed pretty nice, actually, I think, but quite a bit of it was overpowering to a point. I think I did too much in my first attempt at writing for the marching band. I took some time this weekend to scale back a few parts, and hopefully we can take another pull at it this week or next week. Hopefully my revised version will make trumpets, clarinets, and flutes happier.

This week will be pretty busy, I guess. I have to work tonight and tomorrow nights, which aren’t on the top of my list of things to enjoy, but I can survive. I plan on going over to the union tonight to hear some poetry, which is Campus Attractions gig that Robin is organizing. I briefly considered reading at the show, but decided to stay behind enemy lines for now. I’m more comfortable just posting my stuff on the site, not so much reading it to everyone. My writing is usually a very personal side of me, and letting people read it is one thing. Actually providing that emotional speaking is a whole new world that I’m not ready to do just yet. Anyhow, Friday features the Jazz Ensemble playing a show in Festival Concert Hall. Saturday is another marching band show and football game. Sunday, I have a combo gig in the morning and a day of rest, then back to work again, I presume.

It’s nice to be back working on the site again. I think Dano even got some time on the site this weekend, amazing, huh? Hopefully we can get back to working together again, I miss that. Ben and I have made some strides, and we have several more “matchmakers” entries to get on the site sometime within the next week. Watch out, we’re dangerous.

Anyhow, not a whole lot else to talk of. I am generally good for the most part for the time being. Things are stable to a point in my life, although there are many things creeping around in the back of my mind, as always. I talked to Jeremy Middleton last night, and that was really nice. He was talking about moving to Florida now, and jokingly told me that I should move there, too. Funny thing is that for a couple of minutes, I imagined myself actually doing just that. I don’t advocate running away from what’s going around you, but I don’t picture myself doing that. I find myself wondering if there’s anything else here in Fargo for me. I feel like I’m starting to dry up my options anymore. Most things that I’ve taken a big stab at has faded in time. But, I’ll stay around for a while. I have a hard time picturing myself leaving behind the friends I have here. But, I do miss having Jeremy around, even after almost four years away from those days, and the thought of reuniting with the Jeremy and family in Florida did sound really appealing.

Anyhow, more to come soon, perhaps tomorrow or Wednesday. Have a good day, and I’ll have more in a few…

September 16, 2003

Well, it's been well over a month since I last wrote on the site. That was one of the longest lines of time that I've neglected work on here. Nonetheless, I am alive, and and I'm updating unlike Dan, who hasn't updated in like thirteen years. My clothes went out of style why I waited for Dano to do more work on the site. Twice.

Since my last entry, not a whole lot has happened, I'm sad to report. Marching band camp came and went, the start of the semester came and went, school has fallen into a normal feel, and so on and so forth. Not a lot has changed in my life, I'm still just living day to day and trying to not die. I'm still confused about some stuff and I'm still patient and optimistic about the future. A few obstacles have fallen my way, I guess, though.

I was in the running for a Front Office/Front Desk manager position at the hotel, but I got beat out by some lady from Denver. I've talked to her twice, and I'm afraid of her...no kidding, I'm not joking at all. She told me her life story in a matter of 30 minutes, and after just 4 hours on site in the hotel, she had about 8,000 ideas for change. She explained that she had just come from being a manager in a 5-star hotel/resort in Denver, and that she wanted to turn our property into the same thing.

Well, I've got news for her- there will probably never be a 5-star hotel in Fargo...generally because we live in Fargo. It's nice to aim high and have goals, but I think she's over the deep end, and I feel bad for her in advance for the failure she will probably end in.

Of course, I'm also bitter I didn't get the job. I'm the senior most person in my department at the hotel. I have 3 years on the assistant manager and more on the new manager. I'm going to punch myself in the face soon. I may need to look for a new job.

Other fun notes of interest...well, there are a few new couples in town. Jenny and Benny (Thompson and Cory, not Lopez and Afleck) are a cute couple, and Al and Annika are seeing each other. I, on the other hand, as well as Dano remain single as always. Will it ever change? Ask our publicist.

Eddie is doing good. He has a job at Menards. The only bad thing that has happened is that he got towed for overdue tickets. He came to me to help him get his car out of tow, after all, I have plenty of experience in the department of getting my many vehicles out of tow.

Tim even has a job, now. He has a new car, also. (Yeah, I'm talking about Tim Stine, if you can believe any of this) He has a job teaching about 30 guitar students.

Justin Gronfur moved in my house. He's fitting in quite nicely overall. We had our first squabble yesterday and today over some minor stuff, but things will be just fine, I pressume, that is, if he doesn't decide to stab me in my sleep.

I don't know, I guess I've covered it all. I still work bad hours at a hotel. I still drive a Buick. I still play trombone. I still have no band to call my own. I am still single. I am still Korean, or at least I think I was when I last looked in the mirror.

More to come soon, I promise not to disappear for a month again...

August 11, 2003

How are things wherever you are? Things are alright here. Quiet, but fine. I've taken some alone time for the past few days, which has been nice to an extent. Since getting back from Jass, I have basically worked and slept. I've spent time thinking about some stuff, spent a lot of time writing, spent a lot of time reading, and spent a lot of time at work. Tomorrow will be a day off from work and perhaps I will reopen my door to the social world. I work on Wednesday and Thursday, and then I have the weekend off. It will be nice, with some friends coming back to town again. I look forward to changing my current routine into something a little more socially acceptable.

Well, the Jass Festival was the last huge thing that happened in my life, and for the most part, everything went very well. The players did good work, the staff did good work, and we all seemed to have a good time. Hanging out with all of those people seemed theraputic to an extent, and being able to just hang out was good for once. The shows went well despite weather factors that took our big band show indoors, but nonetheless, we had a nice crowd. Many good people showed up from places such as Fargo, Grand Forks, Devils Lake, and Rugby to watch the show, and that was really nice to see. I'm glad my friends enjoy jazz.

I'm on a three-night work streak, and it's not the most pleasent feeling in the world. It's getting harder and harder to show up to work anymore. The overnights are getting old, and after two years worth of those shifts, my body is begging me to change my ways. We'll see what I can figure out this coming fall. The pay is nice, but I feel like I"m losing a months worth of life for every week that I work.

Pre-season NFL has kicked in, and to my spleandor, the Broncos look good. They won their first pre-season game, and I hope this is the way the regular season looks, too.

Other than all of this, I'm simply looking forward with caution to the new semester. I look forward to seeing everyone for the most part, although I could've used more time away from a few things here and there. But, I feel ready to face the world again, which is something that needed restoring after the 2002-2003 school year, which left me feeling pretty drained. My tank is on "F" again, and I'm ready to get out there and do what I have to do. Look out world, here I come. (This is starting to sound like a motivational speech). More coming soon...

July 25, 2003

It seems like I write on this site once ever week, usually on a Friday. Today is no exception. The week has ben busy once again. I spent last Friday through Sunday doing Guard work, Monday and Tuesday working, Wednesday in a mellon field working with Tim, and Thurday and today with Al painting a barn in Ada, Minnesota. We got rained out at about 11:30 today, so we're back in town early, and I thought I would take the time to write again. So, anyhow...

Tomorrow I play for Katie Tucker's wedding, and Sunday, back to the barn painting, followed by two days of work. Tuesday is a rehearsal day for the Jass Combo, and in addition to that, mom and dad will be in town. Wednesday is work again, Thursday is the Eckroth Reading Jazz Band Clinic at the Ramada, and Friday, I leave for Jass. The hits keep on coming- so keep them coming, damn it.

It's been an interesting week of incidents. Went to the bar on Tuesday night, and that was interesting. Went out with Eddie, Tim, Jen Teigan, and Jen Schiff. We spent some time at the Empire, then over at Lauermann's. After closing time, things got interesting, scary, and then funny. I'm not going to write about it on the site because I don't want to embarass someone out of that group anymore than we already have, so we'll just say it involved cops, street signs, and stuff.

Painting in Ada has been strangely relaxing. It's out of town and it's quiet, and I don't mind painting, so it's worked out pretty well. I look forward to Sunday, believe it or not. Hopefully it isn't too hot. I got one hell of a tan on my arms, and it looks pretty good. I didn't burn, and that was key. As I type this, I still have seventy gallons of paint on my body, but I didn't feel like showering quite yet. Hopefully I'm not getting paint in the keyboard...uh oh.

Jass is inching it's way toward us. I'm ready to do it. I'm excited, and I just want to get it all underway. I anticipate a good year, with good staff and good players. We will survive, damnit.

Well, I'm now going to head home, shower, take a nap, and then whatever else I can think of, perhaps clean my house a little bit. Have a good weekend, all, and more to come hopefully next week if I can find a little bit of time to write.

July 18, 2003

Well, here I am again, it's been over a week since I have dropped anything in the hat that I call my Chris Speak's section, so here I am to do a little updating. I will try to get much more done next week, as I think I may have a little free time for once then. As for now, I have a busy weekend coming up, so I will do what I can right now.

Jass looks as good as ready to roll. I took a trip up to Minot on Tuesday and took care of the business. I ran like hell and I was sweating a lot, but I got things done, and I was happy. We have meals, we have two concerts, we have a place to rehearse, we have rooms to sleep in, we have rooms to party in, and more. I'm excited and happy that things are well set this year, as opposed to last year, where I did the most terrible job ever putting a festival together. I feel good and I'm excited to get to Minot.

I blew a tire on the car (which Tim calls "The Couch") on my way into Minot on Tuesday. It wasn't cool. The tire was torn all the hell up, and the lugnuts were on so tight, even my father had trouble getting them off. Fifty dollars later, I had a new tire on the car, but had lost four hours of my life taking care of it. I can't wait for another tire to go so I can go through the same thing. I guess I could just buy three more new tires...but where's the adventure in that?

Jeremy Middleton has returned from the desert. We talked for a while last night, and it was refreshing. We talked about everything has happened since he left, and I got some more advice from him, which was nice to have. I could've used that months and months ago, but what could you do- he was in a war. He had better things to do. But, nonetheless, it was good to ramble and talk the usual crap out. He gave me some much needed advice, and confirmed many things which I had already thought. The answers are there. But, how does one go about asking the questions? Life is not easy, damnit.

I have to head up to Drayton tomorrow for Guard, and I'm sure it'll be a blast (ha ha). Perhaps it will rain. That would help. Sunday will send us to Detroit Lakes for the Water Carnival Parade, which I don't really look forward to either. It'll be hot and I'll want to die by the time we get through with our fifth march. I love my job.

Well, more to come after this weekend, I promise to get more on the site on Monday or something. Hope we're all surviving the summer...I know I'm hanging in there.

July 9, 2003

I'm on my monthly mini-vacation, this one back up to Proctor, Minnesota, where I'm presently visiting Robin and Erika. Both are at work at this time, so I'm over at Robin's grandparent's place using their computer, which they have so graciously allowed me to use this afternoon. Thanks to them, indeed, DSL is nice.

It's overall pretty crappy out today, with a lot of rain and clouds. I went up the Shorefront Overlook today, and even though it was raining and whatnot, it was nice to just sit up there in the wetness. I just love a quiet place with a view. I could spend all day there...of course, it would be nice if it wasn't raining. But, whatever, rain or shine, we don't have views like that in Fargo.

This month is about to get real busy, as usual. I have a couple of gigs coming up, two weekends of Guard Drill, and Jass on the horizen. It's going to be crazy. I have a little time off in August, then we head into Marching Band again, which I'm looking about 65% forward to and 35% not so much forward to. I'm not sure where the bad vibes are coming from, but we'll just hope for the best.

Otherwise, not a whole to report. The summer continues to be pretty quiet, almost too quiet for my liking, but I'll deal with it. Hope all is good wherever you are. More in a few, possibly tonight...

June 30, 2003

Back again, here I am. Not a lot to report. I'm glad to say that it's not raining for once, actually, it's been two days in a row without a bunch of rain. I'm pretty thankful for that. The air is warm and the sun has been shining, and even though it's getting stuffy out, I don't mind, I just wanted the sun to shine. You all know how it works, you wake up in the morning, and your mood is immediately figured based on the weather. Well, thank goodness for the sun, then.

The weekend was alright, I guess. I can't say that I did a whole lot besides work. A couple of those nights, I worked the famed 3-11 shift at the hotel. The worst thing about working that shift is that by standing at that frond desk for eight hours, one must stare directly into that lounge. After about six hours of the shift, you swear you hear that lounge calling your name. As the final minutes tick down, you think that the lounge is screaming directly into your ear. Well, I'm not one to fight off those voices to fiercely, and I ended up in there for drinks a couple of those nights. Thank goodness for Tim and Ryan, they both drove me home. I am weak. Vodka can deceive you sometimes, right?

This weekend, I attended a party at Russ's place for a little bit, then hung out with Jenny for a while. Sometimes it's just nice to have a one on one conversation over a huge party. I enjoyed some beers that night, and went to bed at a descent time. On Saturday, I worked that 3-11 shift, but went home right after work. Nate Olson and Erin Ott showed up at the house, and we talked for a while, and that, too, was kind of nice. A quiet weekend was enjoyed. Last night, I audited at the hotel. Sadly, I missed the Reel Big Fish show, but I guess I had already seen them twice in my life, so it wasn't the biggest loss ever. Eddie, Tim, and Russ went to the show, and they raved about it. Al stopped by the house and we visited for a while before I went to work. We talked about Jass and a few other issues, and a third time, the conversation was nice. While I was at work, Erin Ott and Aaron Chapman stopped in to chat. Eddie also stopped in later and we ate sandwiches. That made me feel like I was back in school again, when visitors often came to the hotel. It was nice.

Ryan and I attended Hamlet over at Island Park yesterday. It was an outdoor production by Ryan Metzger and Catherine Olson. They did a really nice job. If it wouldn't have been for the train and the loudspeakers from the pool next door, it would've been a perfect show to be at. It was kind of nice to be able to see a nice theatre production by locals, too. Speaking of productions, I noticed that the NDSU Theatre Department will be presenting Fiddler on the Roof in spring of 2004. Word on the street is that Dr. Weber will be the musical director. Someone should warn him about me, Chaus, and Dano. You know what happens when they put us three into a theatre pit. It's dangerous. Just ask Dr. Mueller. He'll tell you his story.

This week will be a bit of a marathon week for me. I work everyday except for Tuesday. That includes a 7 in the morning shift on the 5th of July. Tim is leaving town on Tuesday or Wednesday, and won? be back until Sunday. I'll have the house to myself. I sense danger. Well, actually, probably not, I'll be working all week. Nevermind, the world is safe for now.

Well, I think I've rambled enough for now. Annika is coming to town today, and I look forward to seeing her and spewing about nothing as I usually do when she? here. She's great company, though, and somehow, she can take my useless rambling, much like all of you out there who read this web site everyday! Have a lovely day, and I'll drop back in and update sometime real soon, much to many people's dismay. (Just kidding)

June 25, 2003

I'm getting ready to go get some lumber and build an ark since it seems that it may never stop raining around here. It's been generally pretty crappy out for the last four days, and I would just like the rain to let up for a couple hours so that I can enjoy my non-auditing week at work. However, the weatherman has reported more rain for the next couple of days, with a "small" possibility of rain for the rest of the week after that. Thanks. I love North Dakota.

Not a whole lot else to talk of. I was sad to not be able to hang out with Ben Cory yesterday, who came to town to visit some people and take in a concert in West Fargo. He got back on the road early, though, since the weather wasn't looking so hot, amoungst other things. Sorry, bud, next time, we'll paint the town...and stuff.

I worked last night from 3-11, and then enjoyed cocktails at the Doublewood. Tim came out and we discussed the world and more. It's always nice to do that once in a while. The weather was really bad last night, and Tim had no defrost in his car, so the ride home was interesting to say the least.

Well, I'm pretty much a bore as usual, so I'll get out of here. I think there's three cats living underneath Al's equipment trailor, which is parked out behind my house. I heard them meowing, and I felt kind of sad. I saw them this morning, and I wished I could take them in. Poor things.

Enjoy your week, I'll write more Friday.

June 23, 2003

it's been a huge ten days since I have last worked on the site, so I knew the first thing I would need to do upon getting home from a weeks worth of National Guard was write a little on the site. Sorry to those of you who are regular readers and viewers.

The week of Guard sent me to Rugby, Devils Lake, Camp Grafton, Bottineau, The International Music Camp and Peace Gardens, Bismarck, and Hazleton. It was a busy few days, filled with all sorts of events to include playing a lot of concerts and performances, shooting and qualifying weapons, and having a TOGA party, of all things. Overall, I survived the time, but I was really happy to be back in my own house amoungst my own stuff on Saturday. Army life is alright, but my "real" life is better.

Dano and I were reunited for a night on Saturday when he made his face shown at Josh Grover's wedding. We enjoyed some cocktails with Dan and Ang Howard in the bar, and then hung out at the reception for a little bit before retiring to my house for a little beer consumption. Well, a little beer consumption turned into us taking care of a 20-pack of Coors Light hands down, but what can you do, we had to make up for lost time, right? Annika also came to town, and it was good to see many other, to include everyones favorite little singer/flute player/piano player/rock star Michelle Beyer. It was a good night.

We've been getting spanked by rain and wind the last week or so, and that hasn't always been pleasent. I assume that my grass will grow to be 100 feet high within the next few days. There's a flash flood warning in effect for here tonight, so I guess we're more than likely going to get some sort of a huge downpour sometime tonight. I can't wait. Hopefully my house won't float away.

Well, not much else to update, I guess. This week will be a relaxing week of work and just hanging out. I will enjoy it and take full advantage of it. More tomorrow, I assume, talk to you all real soon...

June 13, 2003

Back in town again, I am, and I see that nothing has changed. I walked into the house, and the garbage hadn't been taken out since I left on Tuesday. I can't believe he didn't notice the lovely stench in the house. So, per the usual routine, I took out the garbage, straightened up the house, and washed the dishes. After that, I went and paid some bills, and then met up with Dawn Mosbrucker and her man for lunch at Mexican Village. It was nice to see Dawn, it had been about a year since I had last seen her, and she and her guy seem to be doing quite fine.

The trip out to and back from Duluth was a peaceful one. With all the trees and such on the trip, I find the view to be somewhat pretty and relaxing. Duluth has always been kind of a fun place to go, with the cool air coming off of the lake and relaxing sounds of the water on the shoreline, it's hard to make yourself want to go home, you know? I had come wonderful conversations with both Erika and Robin, as well as with Robin's mom, whom was a wonderful host. The cat, Timmy, took a liking to me and slept with me each night. It sort of made me want to get a cat, but I don't think anyone would be home ever to take care of it come the fall.

So, life carries itself on. I feel that I have issues that I need to resolve soon. I've had the opportunities to do so at different times, but haven't always taken the chances when they presented themselves. But, there's nothing but time out there for now, and I feel more confident as time goes by, which is a change for me, really. It seems that in the past months, I have feared and continued to fear. But, some choice words and conversations have freed my mind to quite an extent, and I'm starting to feel more comfortable about thinking and carrying out lifes issues and thoughts. I know it doesn't always seem like I'm doing that, but just wait, I'm on my way. Hope all is well wherever you are.

June 10, 2003

I have ventured out of the hole which I call Fargo to take a few days out of town, in this case, a trip out to Duluth. I figured it would be nice to come out and see the lakes, as well as hang out with Robin and Erika for a few days. Just the last few weeks in Fargo have worn me out, and getting out of town seemed to be the best thing for me.

I didn't get much in yesterday on the page, so here's a few things that I forgot. Sunday was a busy day aside from the failed audition that I did in Wahpeton. Jesse and I did an Air Guard gig with one of their chaplains, Major John Flowers. It was a pretty good time overall. Following that gig, we went to West Fargo and did out usual gig. When that was over, I went out to Wahpeton for the audition, and then came back into town for a Jazz Arts Group gig. The show was out at Trollwood Park, and with cooperating weather, we had a very good show. It was my first show as a full member of the band, and it was a good one. I guess the gig will be aired on Minnesota Public Radio sometime this summer. We'll be doing another show in a week and half at Island Park. After the show, a few of went over to Mexican Village and ate, and then upon hearing the news of not being the bass player in Tripp 40, I drank beer, talked to Chaus and Keira, and then went out to the bar with Russ, Eddie, and Tim.

The trip out here to Duluth was a good one, really quiet and peaceful, actually, and that was a great way to start the day. Both Robin and Erika are home, and at this moment, the two of them are watching Sex and the City while I work a little on the site. I can't really seem to get into that show except for some of the funny lines that come out and kick me in head. Some of it is really funny, but I'm still trying to ignore it.

Tomorrow will be a nice day, I hope. We had rain in Fargo when I left, and as I went north east, it got nicer, and the sun came out by Wadena. It's been nice out since, though it is a little cold here in Proctor. But, it's nice to just be away from everything that I seem to find annoying these days. It's good to be amoungst good people and friends, and it's good to just be here.

Well, not much else to talk of. I'm kind of a bore tonight. But, it's alright, and I like the down time. I get pretty busy next week with a week of Guard, so I need to enjoy this time before it gets really busy again. Hope you're all doing well wherever you are. More soon...

June 9, 2003

No, I haven't been ignoring all of you, I've just been working a lot. I wish I had more time to get on the site, but with the hotel being busy and lots of Guard time to make up and execute, it gets a little crazy. Not much is really new, I've fallen into a new routine of life, and I don't really like it, but you have to do what you have to do. I guess this summer is all about hanging in there and getting my mind and life back together before everyone else gets back to town in August. So, that's what I'll do. Hope all is well wherever you are, and perhaps I will have more time to work the site this week and further into the summer. Take it easy, folks...

June 2, 2003

Good Lord, I turn...older tomorrow. Again. But, that's how it works, and everyone get's to go through the same thing. If you can't tell, I'm trying to make myself feel better about this! Anyhow, it'll be alright, I'll have the day off from work tomorrow, and we can do dinner and some drinks, it'll be fine. I need to call around and get the gang together, or at least what's left of it, and go have a good time.

Not much new, just finished up a week of Guard. I made up four days worth of missed drill, and then did a weekend of actual drill. It was fun, overall, and we got to play some jazz and rock and drink free keg beer on the band, so I guess I really shouldn't complain too much.

Well, after three weeks now, I'm starting to get into the groove of this new "routine", as I like to look at it. I've been on another routine for about a year a half, and now that everyone just uprooted and took off for home, I was forced to get into a new set of habits. I admit that there are a few people that I don't want to see this summer, and there are a lot of people I do want to see that aren't here in town. But, working and making money and just taking time out from the stress is alright, although a completely new stress is lingering about me. Lonliness gets the best of me once in a while, but it passes with each new day, and we just kick it right along and keep moving.

Well, more to come shortly, I gotta get out of here, I'm hungary. More later...

May 29, 2003

Well, just finished day three of six glorious days of Army National Guard. It's a warm day out there, about 86 or so, and now I'm starting to once again remember what summer is all about. I better get home and crank up my air conditioner in my room so that I can take a nap. I'm pretty tired overall, I need to learn how to sleep again! Russ, Al, Nina, Jenny, and Annika all stopped over at the house last night, so we had ourselves some good drinks and sort of just caught up on a few things here and there. Tim and Al were the usual non-serious guys, while a very Russ tried hard to stay standing up after many drinks over at the Side Street. I worked last night at the hotel after doing eight for the Guard, so I was pretty tired, but I stayed up anyhow. It was good to see Annika, as we talked about a few things here and there and whatnot. Get this- her horse bit her on the leg, and she has this huge bruise. If anything bit me that hard, I might go nuts, I think. Just thought I would add that in for fun. Ok, shoot me...

Not a whole lot going no otherwise. I took all of my "For What It's Worth's" today and put them on microsoft Word, and it turns out that I have like 42 pages of work there. I should put these things into a book. I really actually should, now that I think about it. Anyhow, I wanted to get those things into a little book and keep them with me at home. I really am kind of proud of that work, I guess, it's the strongest emotions that really make things flow on paper, or in this case, on my site, and I'm actually pretty pleased with myself for some of the stuff I've done. It's made me feel better and helped me express thoughts in ways that I don't think I could someone really forced them out of my in voice.

Not much else going on, it's time for me to head home. I guess I'll try to get more in here next week, I won't have much time for playing with the site until Monday. So, until then, everyone take it easy, and I'll be back with you soon.

May 27, 2003

How are things going on in your neck(s) of the world? Things are the usual generic style here, with lots of work and a little bit of play. Last night, Russ and Al came by, and we drank the leftover beer from the weekend gig. We had planned on drinking the beer that night, but we were supplied with an endless stream of keg beer, so we drank that instead.

The weekend was alright. Patents Pending played their final gig (for now) together for the big wedding in Huron, SD. With a little help from Ryan Sather, the core group played very well, and we had a good time. We arrived out there around 1:30 on Saturday, set up, rehearsed, kicked back a couple, ate, played, and kicked back a few many more. It was a fun night, although Al looked pretty roughed up by 3am.

Memorial Day was alright. I didn't really do anything at all except sit around and watch movies and play video games. Tim and I went to The Matrix Reloaded, and I enjoyed my encore viewing of that movie. As for me right now, I'm here at the Armed Forces Reserve Center making up some time for Guard Drill that I missed throughout the year. I love these fine threads we wear. I can hide in tall grass and behind trees, and people can't see me (in theory).

So, one thing is starting to hit me and it's hitting me somewhat hard, giving me a bad case of the blues. For the first few days, I knew that everyone had headed out their seperate ways to home or wherever they were going for the summer, and I was cool with it overall. Then, this past Thursday, I realized that everyone was really gone, and it hit me sort of hard. I really started to miss everyone, and realized how much this sucks to be here. I don't remember the last time I really felt this strongly about it, but it seems to me I felt this way last after I had been in the army for about five days, and realized that I was indeed at basic training, 2000 miles away from mom, dad, and all of my friends and family. Anyhow, point is, I miss everyone really bad, and have this strange sense of homesickness, even though I am indeed home. I'll be fine, really, but just for the moments to come in the near future, I find myself amazingly overwhelmed by the feeling of lonliness. Sure, I have a few friends still here, but not the several who really know me well, listen to me, and understand me. Anyhow, in time, I will get used to this life, and when everyone comes back, I will be the happiest human being alive.

Well, I should get back to work. I have to do a couple of training schedules for the unit here, then I can drive home in the rain, which has begun to fall steadily. Have a great day, and I'll try to get some more on the site tomorrow. Talk to you all in a few...

May 21, 2003

Back on my head again, I find myself working on the site again. Two days in a row- this is impressive! Anyhow, the day has been going alright overall. The clouds are moving in here again, and rain and storms look pretty likely. Good thing I got the lawn mowed.

Tim will be home in a couple of days, and thankfully so, there will be some noise in the house again. It's been so quiet in there for the last few days, and it's driving me nuts. The good thing about all of this is that I have done a bunch of cleaning and chores since it's been so quiet. I get to clean the bathroom when I get home, and perhaps sweep and dust in the hallway. I am such a good little maid when I have to be.

Not a whole lot else going on here, I guess. I'm a pretty big bore during the summer. I guess last night, I went out to the Expressway with Tanya, and that was alright. We went out there around 10:30, and stayed until they kicked us out. We chatted about all sorts of stuff, and many good drinks we drank. I guess that's what you do at a bar, right? Today, Jenny and I went out and grabbed a little lunch at IHOP. This was the first time I had been to an IHOP in about 3 1/2 years, and man, was it nice to eat that stuff again. I remember a day when I used to eat there after gigs with Eric Lynn in San Antonio. Man, that was a completely different life, though. Funny how life changes so much over time.

Well, I need to go pay some bills and get some music done for the gig this weekend. I'll probably write more tomorrow since I'm sure, as usual, I'll be bored. When is this summer over? For those of you reading this, write me an e-mail. I need attention. You know how I am!

May 20, 2003

It's Tuesday, and I'm still alive. School has been out for a few days, and the dust is starting to settle, and I realize just how much of a bore I really am. I've worked a few days, and the rest of the time, I sit on my rear at home and read. I play the occasional computer game, and sometimes break out the Play Station when I'm feeling like it. I watch TV and movies. I write some stuff on my computer. Tim is still not home, and won't be for a few more days. I was so bored this morning, that I went out and tried to fix our lawn mower. Our grass is growing to alarming heights as I type this! When that didn't work out, I went inside and cleaned my kitchen and did dishes. Tonight, I plan on cooking a nice meal for myself. I'm scared of me! Since when did I get domesticated? Mom always told me that I would make one hell of a husbend, though.

I was notified that I've established a bit of a fan club out in Duluth with the fine people at SMDC, so if you're reading my banter, I say hello to you now! I'm glad that some people read the site...and then somehow have the stomache to come back and read more! Send me your names and I'll put you in my will. Don't be strangers- take a second or two and fill out a guest book entry, I'd love to know who you are. Of course, I already know one of you- one Mrs. Childs, whom a treasure as my favorite daily viewer of the site. You're the best, really! I see that you haven't went in and voted on the NDSU survey yet...

Speaking of that very survey, the numbers stay tight as usual. I'm still pulling for Dr. Mack. Dr. Thrasher and Dr. Mueller are hanging in there, though. Good stuff. I wonder if Dr. Thrasher even knows about this survey. Dr. Mack has been to the site before, as has Olfert and Patnode. Perhaps this is why I get the grades I do in their classes.

Well, nothing else new to talk of, so I take my leave once again. I have a couple of new things for my creative corner page tomorrow, and I also have a For What It's Worth. I look forward to posting those things tomorrow, and I look forward to hopefully seeing some more guest book entries popping up soon. To all my friends who have moved home for the summer- I miss you all. Come back soon, and don't be strangers, send e-mail and phone calls to the lonely schmuck who never leaves Fargo. More soon...

May 18, 2003

Well, not a lot to talk of these days, it's been a fairly good one. The school year is over with, and I'm not really sure what to do now. It's sort of like everything is changing like crazy once again, and I have no idea what to do with the summer. Everyone is gone, for goodness sakes! But, the summer will be great for everyone, and I hope that when everyone comes back, they're all refreshed and ready to jump back into life.

I saw off several folks this week. Dano took off on Friday, and he's back in Bismarck again. He'll be working all summer and such, and it'll be good for him to be home. Annika took off also on Friday, and she's working on the house and taking care of her grandma. Robin and Erika took off on Saturday for Proctor (near Duluth, for those of you who have no idea), and they'll be working all summer. I'm trying to imagine those two living together all summer, it should be scary, but good for them. A few people have stuck around for the summer, mainly those who are from Fargo, and hopefully they're not too busy, and they'll make the occasional visit to the house.

As for myself, I'll be working a lot at the hotel and trying to make the summer go by a little faster. I have Jass in August, and I'll be working on that all June. I have some Guard time, also, and that'll put a few more dollars in my pocket book. That's just how it works, though.

Well, not much else to talk of, so I'll take my leave. In honor of Erika, however, I will close this out by saying...LATERS...

May 13, 2003

It has been a week since I last dropped my thoughts in here, so I must admit that I've been slacking pretty badly as of late. Some great things have happened over the last few days. The best news came on Sunday when Bob Anderson, the executive director of the Jazz Arts Group, called me to give me the news that I had been selected to be the Lead Trombonist in the JAG Big Band, the only pro big band in the region. I was overjoyed with the news, and I look forward to playing with that band every much. It really did feel like a big turning point in my life, which my sound a little cheesy, but really, it was. I had set three goals for myself when I got to Fargo, and finally, one of them has come true. I'm happy for it, and I'm going to do everything I can now to play well. Being a member of JAG can lead to much more jazz work in Fargo, and that's exactly what I want to be doing.

Things have been ok, I guess. The weather has been back and forth, cold and hot, sunny and rainy, you name it, it's done it. My life seems to be well cemented into a new routine, and I guess I'll just need to get used to it for the summer. It consists of practicing, working, sleeping, and playing the occasional gig and having the occasional drink. So many of my friends are leaving town for the summer, so it'll be a little lonely around here, but I'll find things to do and I'll try to hang with who stays behind. The bars will be our hangouts, and the beer will be our choice beverages to get away from the hot sun. I look forward to a little bit of that, I guess.

Drum major auditions came and went, as did officer elections. I didn't get an officer position, and I didn't go for drum major, but that's ok with me, I like to be a grunt with the other grunts, working that way. I guess I get that attitude from my Army time. Leadership is fine and well, but helping out the little guy is a better feeling overall. The drum major auditions were fine, and I saw some really good work up there. Both of my trombone buddies did quite will, and I thought Erika was very, very good. I applaud all of the effort and confidence to get up there and conduct, and hopefully we know soon who is in. I did do a section leader interview, and that would be a nice spot to at least have in the band. We shall see.

Dano and Rusten played a recital last night, and I enjoyed much of it. Rusten has a great sound, and Dano smoked the living daylights out of that last movement of The Carnival of Venice. I was impressed, and I enjoyed their work and effort. Good work boys, now take the summer off. Well, not off of your horns, but you know what I mean.

Tom Christianson thought my little "Fuzzy Wuzzy" thing was cute. He told me he laughed, and didn't feel any anger, so I felt it was worth it, since I knew there was a tiny chance that he might kill me if was in a bad mood. But, I have been saved, and that is good.

Well, I think I've written enough- maybe a lot, but I didn't say a whole lot did I? At any rate, I'll get back in here soon and get more up on the page as early as tomorrow, perhaps. Have a lovely day, and good luck on finals if this applies to you...

May 6, 2003

It was with much joy that I found out that Tom Christianson thought my little introduction about him on the front page of this site was funny. He didn't choose to kill me or anything, so that was good news. I have managed to live through the first two days of my work week, which totals five lovely overnight shifts. I will survive, I hope. I had a gig this morning at the Radisson, and that went alright. The rain stopped falling, so that was also nice. I think things are looking up for the time being. I feel better today, and my mind is no longer racing like it has been for the last few days. I did some thinking last night, but I think overall, I have come to a calm, and I'll be just fine for now. I apologize to everyone who now thinks I'm crazy and messed up in the noggin.

I got stuck in Chaus's backyard again yesterday, and I made a pretty big mess back there. It toom me almost ten minutes to get out of there, and I left some huge rut marks where I was "muddin'". Anyhow, Chaus told me that the owners of the apartment weren't too impressed with my work. So, I no longer have a nice parking spot like I used to. Oh, well, at least it's the end of the year. Oh, and it's not raining, either. See- things are getting nicer by the moment.

Well, not much else to talk of. I will now go and get some food, and then return here to do concert band. Speaking of concert band, for a record fourth time, I managed to be nominated for at least two of the officer positions at spring elections, and I was defeated all times. I don't think I'll ever get a chance to be an officer. I am thankful for the nice people who did nominate me, though. Thanks for the confidence you have in me and stuff. I love you all, and your check is in the mail. Ha! Laters...

May 5, 2003

Dr. Thrasher has moved into the lead in my survey. Girls love his young boyish looks, or something like that. Perhaps I should go to him and get tips on appearance. Ben Cory will be retired as my fashion and image consultant. Sorry, bud, I'm moving on up, what can I say?

Yesterday was ok. I got a call from Bob Anderson, and once again, I get another chance to play with Jazz Arts Group. I'm excited as always to get a chance to play in the only pro big band in town, and it'll be fun to get out there and swing with them.

Sunday was pretty much a waste, otherwise. I went to church and played with Jesse, then returned home and proceeded to sit there on my fat ass and do nothing of real value. Tim and I played some Nintendo. That was my feat for the day, I think. I did leave the house to play a brass quartet rehearsal for about 2 hours, then returned home and laid around. I took a nap, then went to work. Work was the usual story, where I sat there and looked stupid for eight hours. You know- the way it always is.

My insecurity for myself is always present with me these days, and I wish I could change that in a hurry. It's not a bad thing to worry or doubt, but sometimes I wonder if it's going to bite me in the ass sometime in the near or distant future. I'm one to worry- I always worry. Anyone who knows me knows that, though. It's all good, I'll survive. I just need to worry less.

Our Brass Quartet played for a National Symphony Orchestra master class today, and it was a little on the shakey side. The fugue went pretty awful overall when we ran it down. When they came up to work with us, though, we climbed back up the wall and made it happen, redeeming ourselves as much as we could. I'm proud of the players in the group, and I awknowledge that not all performances can be perfect. We've done well this year, and I'm proud of my "kids".

Well, not a whole lot else to talk of, I should go home and eat some lunch. I'm starving again. I need nourishment. So, I take my leave, and I'll have some more for you all tomorrow. Laters...

May 4, 2003

Take note and stop the presses, Dr. Mack is no longer in the lead for hottest music department guy on my survey. Dr. Thrasher and Dr. Mueller have managed to break away into a tie. I love good competition.

Concert went well last night, and I was happy about it. It cheered me up a little bit, and talks with my friends last night did wonders for me. I felt better when I went to bed last night. I feel as though I have taken a huge weight off my shoulders by talking to the right people about what I mentioned yesterday about feeling so paranoid. A hug, a smile, understanding words, and the touch of a hand do wonders for the soul.

Not much else to talk of, I need to get home and go to bed, I have to work tonight and tomorrow night. I also work Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday nights. Ugh, the things I'll do for money.

Off to run in the rain, talk to you all soon...