Well, you may not hate me for this (Erin Handy will NEVER hate me, I also note), but sometimes I have a few things to talk about that are on my mind each day. You know, just random thoughts that run through my head at night when I'm trying to get to sleep and whatnot, or perhaps thoughts that are there with me when I wake up in the morning. Enjoy these thoughts if you agree, or burn down my house if you don't.

December 30, 2001

This may be one of the last times I get to write in 2001, so I'll get what I can in here. Not a lot on my mind tonight, I'm sitting here at work. It's actually like 4:30am right now, and I'm really bored and tired. I know that I get off work at 7, and I have to be at church at like 10. I'm going to die, I think. Actually, it's all good.

Chaus and Tintes came in tonight to break the boredom here at work. Scott Leung called me at like 3 to say hi from his workplace at US Bank. Tracy Lundby called me on my cell phone, and even though it was only to find out some information about our Guard schedule for 2002, it was good to hear her voice. The last couple days have seemed a little lonely here in Fargo, with everyone gone out of town for the holiday. I'm starting to miss everyone. With these people around, there was never really a dull moment, or time to really stand still, you know? Anyhow, I'm excited for them to all come back soon. It'll be good to be around them again. These breaks give you a chance to realize how much you like and appreciate your friends. I think I needed that.

On the rumor trail, word is brewing of a new couple in town. Reports were confirmed today about Annika and Tintes. Hoo-ray.

I don't like how damned cold it is outside these days. I just want it to be warm again.

I highly recommend the Ben Folds album. Get it soon. The songs are full of interesting meaning, and is the best album for deep soul-searching since Counting Crows did August and Everything After. I find myself very lost in the music of these albums, and they have done much to heal my soul which is sometimes pained by thoughts of the days, weeks, and even years past. Just a thought. Listen to it, or at least get some mp3's. It'll do you good, like mom's chicken noodle soup.

Goodnight. I must serve out the rest of my night.

December 27, 2001

I made out pretty good at Christmas this time, with a bunch of Dale Earnhardt stuff (eat your heart out, Anna) and some clothes and whatnot, I did alright. Hopefully you all did ok, too.

I have to get a paragraph in here telling you that my sister went through Dan and my political commentaries and punched holes into a lot of it. She was quoting all sorts of Supreme Court decisions and whatnot, and it was kind of scary. She sided with both Dan and I at different times, but very vocally criticized both of us on other issues. To end it all, she gave me several books for me to read to understand politics more, although I assume I will be more confused than before. She supports me in my more moderate ways of thinking and in my liberal approach to todays politics and issues, while supporting Dan's interpretation of constitutional law, althogh she thinks he needs to read into it more and understand it more with application to his arguements. My sister may be liberal, but she's got some commen sense and lots of smarts.

It has been a good time home. I've had time with the family and such, and it was good to have all the boys back together again. John was back with his wife for a few days, and just left a little while ago on a flight back to Durham. Eric and Sean are still here. Eric has a beard, and Sean has lost 40 pounds. Brad is also still in town, and as we speak, he's having more work done to his teeth. Poor guy. Anyhow, it was good to see everyone, and it will suck to leave tomorrow.

Did anyone see that stuff in the paper today about Mr. Carter ripping hard on Mr. Moss? Oh, and the thing about Carter maybe trying free agency and going to the Packers? (GASP!) There is unrest in the Vikings camp. My Uncle Jack, an avid Packers fan, says that in order for the Vikings to be any good, they must get rid of Dennis Green. I agree. But will it happen? Probably not. Stay glues to ESPN.

The song "Angel" is on, the old one by Aerosmith, and it's depressing me to the extreme. I must go now.

December 25, 2001

Well, first off, Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to all, hopefully you're all having a nice time at home with you families or wherever in the world you are. Things are good here in Minot, and I can't complain too much. It's pretty cold out and all, but I just spend more of my time inside, anyhow.

Liz is good, and so is the dog. The parents are the same people, gladly welcoming me and my sister in. The trip out was interesting, with the blowing snow making it almost impossible to see anything in front of you.

It's been good to be home with the friends. John Fred and his wife Ann are here, along with the Solberg brothers, Eric and Sean. Brad found his way back to town, as did Matt Tompkins, flying in from Japan. Ran into a countless number of people from my class over the last few days at the bars, some have changed, some have not.

This will probably be one of the last entiries into this little journal for this year, and then we'll reset the books to start a new year. We'll archive this years work on the site, so be sure to check back from time to time. 2001 entries will still be available too, just in case you want to travel back in time. I hope all is well for all of you, and I'll talk to you all soon. Happy Holidays, once again.

December 12, 2001

So, we had our first Gold Star Band concert of the year tonight, and it went well. The low brass played loud enough at the end to "peel paint off the wall", as Orv Eidem told me. The sound was even Dr. Mack approved, although I was disapointed to hear Dr. Patnode tell me that it was loud, but it didn't "part his hair". Better luck to us next time.

Dano and I went out for some food with Michelle Beyer and Lindsey Wood, and talked about some interesting topics, mostly centering around relationships, how they work, and what each sex thinks, feels, and wants. I would be lying if I said I agreed with all of it, but they did put up a few good points. Dano and I will be doing a seperate section of the website talking about this soon. It will be a colaberated effort, if you will. Keep your eyes open.

Have you gotten your Christmas shopping done yet? Not I. I never get this stuff done until the very end, I admit. It's a combonation of not knowing what the hell to get these people, plus the laziness factor, too. I always get the job done, though, and I ever wrap all the gifts before Christmas Eve. Impressive, huh?

So, here's the thing, there's this girl I sort of like here at school, but everytime I go to her to even talk, I somehow manage to forget the English language or something. In addition to this, I feel like she's way out of my league and she's younger, too. Of course, more girls are younger than me around here. Man, doesn't this look the sort of thing you find in one of those junior high notes that girls pass around class?

I'm having one of those days where I feel like breaking something. We were going to burn a UND sweatshirt tonight in my backyard, but no one wanted to go out tonight, so we postponed the event yet one more day. Maybe I should go home and beat Tim up. Rick, too. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Read about it in the newspaper tomorrow.

Amy and her hubbie Nate are here in the lab. They're working on homework. Amy just told me she has never seen this website. Apparently I'm not spreading the word enough. A new ad campaign starts soon, ha! Oh, and I warned her that she will be shaking her head (as she always does around Dano and I) over all the crap on our site.

Sara Dau plays Eb clarinet in the GSB this semester. I just thought that was noteworthy.

Erin Handy and Steve Wirtz are getting married. For some reason, it just hit me today that this was a serious engagement. I cried for hours. So did Dan. We're still dealing with Ginger and Phil, as well as Ang and Dan. We'll never get over Amy and Nate. Damn us. Damn us to hell.

It's getting late, and I should be at home right now. I think I'll go there soon. More tomorrow. Sleep well. Sweet dreams. All that good stuff. Oh, and don't get run over by a bus tomorrow. I think it would be funny, though, if I did get hit by a bus in the morning, and Chaus was driving it. I'd forgive him once he got to heaven after being crushed by a large meteor. Oh, yeah. Vivid imaginations are kewl. Nite, nite.

December 11, 2001

Someone bitched me out yesterday, telling me that my feelings and anger about the Fighting Sioux's win on Saturday were "parallel to being racist against another culture" in my somewhat strong verbal opinions of their sucess this year. Yeah. Ok. Well, that's interesting. So, to right this wrong, instead of verbally bashing them, I'm going engage in some fist-fights with some UND students. It's a different approach, right? Instead of defending themselves with words, they can defend themselves with violence. Ok, I'm going to get in trouble for this one, too...

Jazz and Lab Band played last night, not a bad concert, although I must say I (and the brass section) was hurting. This is a tough week with concert band dress rehearsals and such, so we didn't have any choice but to blow in rehearsal, therefor, sort of hurting our chances at being able to give 100% at the jazz concert. A bummer, indeed, but we played alright, and did the best we could under the circumstances.

Sara Dau played her final concert with the jazz band, shining on a solo on the great Thad Jones tune, Three and One. On behalf of the Dano and I (and the entire jazz band), we'll miss ya lots and lots, especially whenever tour rolls around.

December 9, 2001

It's been a while again, so here I am to report in and let you know what's new out there. Well, nothing, actually. But let's see if I can come up with anything interesting to talk about.

Patents Pending played in front of people for the first time on Friday night. I rate our performance a 6 out of 10 for the night, which isn't too bad for a first time around the track. We shined on tunes like "Mustang Sally" and "The Joker", and not so much on a few others, but overall, things were good. It seems that everyone had a fairly good opinion of our first shots at rock stardom, so that's how it is, and that's alright. This was Jesse's first time playing rock in front of people, and Tim had never had much of a chance to do so either, so both of them get great reviews for their work. Russ is a seasoned vet of this stuff, so he did great as always. Look for us to get our originals out on the line by January, it will be good.

In a related story, Jesse and I got into some hot water with the music department staff by "putting too many posters up in the music building" to advertise our open jam for our music friends to come listen to. While I can understand and appreciate the concern for our building to look nice and orderly, downstairs in particular, I just want to say that we, the members of Patents Pending, were simply trying to give our fellow music students a good, fun time on a Friday night. We provided them with some music, and a chance to dance and socialize in a good, clean environment. I don't know if the staff here knew that, but we had nothing but the best of intentions for this whole shindig. The staff here knows that we're responsible people, and we showed it by playing, not breaking anything, not causing a disrucption to other events in the building, cleaning up the room and reorganizing it, and more. We used a couple of speakers for our show that belonged to the school, and we returned them safely to their living places. We lived up to the end of our deal, and provided a fun time for our fellow students, and I don't honestly see our music department trying to organize stuff like that for the hard working souls who play in their ensembles for a measly one credit for many hours of hard rehearsal and such. I don't mean to sound all bastardly, but it really pissed me off when I started hearing all the different faculty whispering about how bad of people Jesse and I were. We're all anal in some ways, but some more than others, and we all need to lighten up. Nothing against the music department, just a general thought.

The UND Fighting Sioux somehow managed to win the Division II Championship game yesterday to my dismay. They just barely won, though. I hope they all turn gay and marry ugly men in Hawaii. That goes for their fans, too.

We had a party on Friday. I drank half a bottle of Irish whiskey. Oh, yeah.

Brad Jensen had his recital this weekend. It was good. His hair was good, too.

November 27, 2001

It's snowing out...a lot. It's cold out. The wind is blowing. I know winter was "just around the corner", but this it crazy. I'm cold. My house is cold. My car is cold. My buttocks are cold. This is no good, in this cold, cold world. The forecast from the National Weather Service says it will stay cold and it will keep snowing for a while longer. Goodbye fall, hello winter, I guess. Denial will only last for two more weeks, then I'll be over it.

Go Bucs, yeah! A big win against the Rams last night pulled them back into contention for a wild card slot later this season. This was great news to me, as the Bucs are the only NFC team I support. Dunn, Sapp, Alstott, Lynch...go, Bucs!

I've been doing some thinking about it, and I've decided that Jenny Thompson should marry me. So, there's an open invitation out there, she can come forward and accept at any time. Offer good while supplies last.

You know what's great? Chaus is driving a huge Pontiac right now as a replacement to his Storm, which is having massive work done on it in Bismarck. Wish the Phat Ride was up and running right now, that would be great, we could race. Chaus will argue, but we all know that I'd beat him.

Melisa is from Texas. She loves Texas. I lived in Texas for a while. I love Texas. Anyone see where I'm going with this?

I am a dirty old man, desperate for someone to keep me warm (as you might have noticed from some of the entries above), I must go to Lab Band now, more in a few...

Ok, back again, Kelly says he wants a section on the Dano and Chris site to complain, too. Just what we need, more complaining, but it's a free country, so I say the more- the better, ha! Keep your eyes peeled for that.

Sara Dau got a new car. 1993 Dodge Intrepid, nice car. Good looking car for a good looking girl. I need a good looking car. Oh, and a good looking girl would be nice.

I want to play tuba in the Varsity Band. This could be a good (or bad) thing.

There's this annoying kid sitting next to me in the computer lab. He's working on some music composition project, and he keeps using the "f-word" to show his discontent for the computer program he's using. I suddenly feel like I want to punch him.

Dano and I had a good night of pinochle on Saturday, get this- we beat Beseler and Freido twice in a row. No kidding. That's a proud moment. Also, Beseler and I have only lost one game this semester here at school, and we don't expect to lose again, so we continue to be the Taliban raiders of the pinochle world.

The greatest t-shirt in the world is one that belongs to Russ Pfaff. It's a black shirt with the simple phrase, "Spear Brittney". Short, right to the point, and easy to understand. Hop to it, America.

November 26, 2001

Good day, folks, it's been a while since I had a chance to really get anything into the ole' Chris Speaks section, so I'll see what I can rattle off today. It's cold as hell outside, I can say that right now. That wind chill is no good. Did you see how the National Weather Service revised the wind chill factor table? They weren't fooling around, no sir. Anyhow, I got to drive Dr. Miller's BMW today from MSUM to NDSU, and that was a great moment in life. That was the most carefull I've ever driven in my entire life, I must admit. With snow and ice in the area, I drove under the speed limit for the first time in my life, and I was especially defensive on the roads. Call me crazy, it's too bad I don't drive like this all the time.

Thanksgiving was ok. I had dinner at Dr. Matthew and Paloma Patnode's home. Sara Dau joined me for the festivities, and we ate and drank and talked, and it was a nice time. Dr. Patnode and I watched some football and talked jazz, and I must say that it was one of my better Thanksgivings away from home. In 1996 at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio, I went to dinner on Thanksgiving with my friend Sean Blucker at Denny's downtown on Commerce. No kidding. The spread was pretty good, and only $8.95. It was alright, but once we got back to the barracks, I was depressed. It beats my 1995 Thanksgiving at Basic Training in Reception Battalion. Nothing could beat the misery there. I ate some pretty good food in the chow hall, and then called home and cried because I wasn't there.

Dan and I have been arguing a lot as of late, it's been really crazy. Our political worlds are clashing at like 10000 mph, and it's getting a little out of hand. We have major different views on the state issue of redistricting, and there's always the usual issues of political correctness, hate crimes, and more. We may take a little break from tossing those views around the computer, it might be a good cooling down period. Don't expect this truce to stay for long, though, our opinions are strong, and we're going to be back at each other's necks before you know it.

I have a killer weekend coming up. Get this- Friday night, I work from 11pm-7am Saturday. I go to Guard from 8am-4pm, then the Symphony Ball at 5:30pm until 11:45pm. Then, I head back to work from midnight until 7, then to Guard again from 8am-4pm. Rock band is to practice that night, too, but I don't think I'm going to make it to that event. I might die. Keep posted.

I don't Kate should get married. Or, at least I think she should marry me. Same thing goes for Erin Handy. I love you, Steve, but it's a doggy-dog world, I'm in the game, too, you know. Tell you what, I'll trade you my Galaxy (aka the Phat Ride) for your lady. Don't tell her about it. She might object.

Tell me something, do you guys see this whole Harry Potter thing getting out of hand? Parents going nuts because the movie has witches and stuff in it? Get out of here! I've never seen a crazy like this before. Let me see, did anyone get bent out of shape for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? Nope, and there's a mean old witch in that movie who acutally puts poison in an apple to harm a girl. I didn't see religious America going nuts when it came out, and they didn't get all psycho when they re-issued it 5 times over the last 15 years. Then, there's The Wizzard of Oz. Didn't see editorials filled with slander upon the Satan-worshiping director of that movie. Black America didn't jump to attention when The Whiz came out, either. Anyhow, it's been good to see the amazing backlash that our citizens are having to all these parents going nuts about the movie. Guess what- it's a movie, and it's not meant to make witches, blood drinkers, or Satan worshipers out of our kids. I roll-played when I was young, and that was all about spells, killing, spirits, and witchcraft, but I didn't turn out to be a witch of the Wicca world. You know why? My parents brought me up to believe in Jesus Christ and the Bible, and you know what else they taught me when I was growing up? The difference between fantasy and reality. Oh, and the difference between good and evil, for that matter, if the reality thing didn't make any sense. Good Lord, folks, lighten up. It's ok to shelter your kids to an extent, but if you do that, it sets them up for a more cruel first time in the real world when they get older. No wonder our kids don't have street smarts anymore. I put faith in my religion, God, and the church, and I'm smart enough to see through all the imaginary icons in this world. Hey parents out there- GROW UP AND GET WITH IT! This issue is making me want to move to Canada.

For those of you who watch NASCAR, how many of you think Jeff Gordon is no better than Tony Stewart for how he acted on Friday? Jeff Gordon could've won that race despite getting that little bump from Robby Gordon, the eventual winner, but what did Jeff have to do? He was a baby and slammed Robby from behind, damn near lifting his back end off the ground. For that little stunt, Jeff was penalized a lap in the pits, and took his great car out of contention. Way to go, I hope the fans were watching and I hope they're still listening, because as of today, Jeff is still whining. Check it all out on NASCAR.com.

November 13, 2001

Jesse Braunagel is a bastard. That's a happy start to this days work. Actually he's not a bastard, he knows who his father is. Not much new here, it's Monday on a Tuesday, and that's not all bad. The three day weekend brought to me much relaxation and a couple good days of hanging with the friends and whatnot. Many went home, but for those who stuck around, we were able to enoy ourselves and have a few drinks, and for that, we're all happy. Dano didn't have duty all weekend, so he was able to hang out for some time, and all in all, things were pretty swell.

We celebrated Erin Handy's birthday on Friday, she turned 21. I invited her to my house after her dinner, but she didn't come (again). But, I won't hold that against her. Happy birthday to her. Tim and I tossed the baseball around on Sunday, and that was fun. It was a wonderfully mild day, so we took the chance to get some exercise. We played a pretty physical game of 500 with Dan and Chaus. I thought someone was going to break a bone. We get pretty stupid when we play competition sports. Hell, Dan almost crushed Sara Dau one day when we played football.

They're going to get rid of the Twins. Thought I'm not their biggest fan, I find it sad to see them go, and shame on their owner. He's a bastard. A filthy, rich, greedy bastard. I hope he gets hit by a bus.

The Broncos won on Sunday. Beat the Chargers. I love Flutie, but when it comes down to my team vs. him, I have to go with my boys in Denver. Also, in NASCAR, Bill Elliott won a race, the first time in like 7 years. Good for him, and better yet, Jeff Gordon finished like 28th or something. Life is always better when I see that. Micheal Waltrip finished a respectable 2nd. Go, DEI.

I've added another instrument to my list of crap played this year. I'm playing snare drum, bells, and cymbals in brass ensemble. Add that to trombone (jazz band, jazz combo, concert band, brass quintet), piano (lab band, lab combo), sousaphone (marching band), and bass (rock band). Help.

Beseler and I are still undefeated in pinochle. Call if you'd like to challenge, we welcome your attempts.

November 9, 2001

My work week has ended, thank goodness, now on to some fun this weekend with my kids at NDSU. It's been a long week of work, and I'm happy to have some time off again. So, you, uh...got any gum?

NDSU plays their last game of the year tomorrow at St. Cloud. I certainly hope we whoop up on them big time. UND meets up with SDSU, and UNO plays Augustana. Wouldn't it be funny if UND and UNO lost. Would've really do us a lick of good, we still wouldn't get into the playoffs, but it would be entertaining, right? We bid farewll to Lamar Gordon, of course, we'll miss watching him run all over the opposition. Returning next year, of course, is Gordor, and let us just hope he does some tossing the ball through a tied up tire this summer. Make sure it goes through the hole in the tire, too.

There was a great editorial in the Fargo Forum today about the liquor licensing issue here in Fargo. The article was pretty good, although it didn't get enough hits on Chris Magnus. The local cartoonist, however took over, and put his own punches in at our police chief. Let me see real quick if it's online...

Ok, that comic isn't in there, but I'll get it and put it online this weekend. For your reading entertainment, though, you can read the great editorial at http://www.in-forum.com/pub/11092001/37136.shtml

It's a long weekend. Veteran's Day. If you have the time, go to a ceremony or memorial this weekend or Monday, and honor your military heros. You owe it to them, they're your protectors of freedom.

One thing I don't understand is why all these people are going home from the weekend. I mean, they're all going to just go home again for Thanksgiving. I've got some funny news for all of you guys- you need to ween yourselves of home. You don't live there anymore. You're an adult. Learn to live on your own!

That's it again for now, more in a few...

November 6, 2001

Good Lord, I'm tired. This whole work thing is getting harder every time I do it, the seven on and seven off. But, all is ok, for the most part. For the record, despite what Dan said on his last entry on his page (pertaining to coming to my place for a sandwich), he never came. I was all excited to make him my super-fresh-wonderful-huge-deli sandwich, complete with three meats, two cheeses, and more. I'm a proud man, what can I say?

The Diamondbacks beat the Yankees. Life was good. The Raiders beat the Broncos. Life is not so good.

I bet Sara Dau would look GREAT in a short skirt. Dan agrees.

NDSU Bison football made it's way back into the top 25 this week with their steller win over UNO last Saturday. We're the only team with 3 losses on the poll. Our rank is #25, and hopefully with a win this weekend and a few losses for the other ranked teams, we can at least reach #20 or a little better. It won't get us in the playoffs, but it'll feel good to be ranked.

It's been one year since the whole presidential election fiasco took it's long ride through our political lives. I admit that I'm a little more accepting now of how things ended up, but I'm still not satisfied with how things worked out. Pardon me for using logic (what's logic?) here, but if one person gets more votes than the other, isn't that the person who wins the election? It makes sense, it's a no-brainer, and that's the facts. End of story. See more about this tomorrow in the commentary section, I'll be giving my rousing opinion about it all.

November 1, 2001

So, here I am sitting here in the computer cluster at the music building. I'm still wearing my tie and khakis from the marching band banquet. I tell you, it was an ok time. The awards were pretty much what I expected, and yes, indeed, I was co-winner of the Cream of the Gold Star Soup award, which I shared with Chaus and Mike. I was also fortunate enough to get the Brother Award, which Dan and I will probably be in the running for the rest of our GSB careers. The sousaphone section got the What Time Does Band Start award. Thanks to Chaus, I co-owned the I'm Too Good to be a Rookie award, shared with Shaundra. I guess I deserved it, though I don't think I skipped out on any of the rookie stuff or tried to be a tough veteran even though I wasn't, but it's all good, it was more candy for me. The "I'm Responsible, But My Section Won't Let Me Be" award sort of burned my ass a little bit, but I guess the awards are in good fun and tact, so I'll leave it alone. I got to direct the alma mater, so that was sort of fun, and hopefully the rookies, which outnumbered the vets like 2-1, didn't think I was a big pile up there. I think I gave a tuning pitch that was too low, but what can you do? The food was great, thank you officers, and the night was nice, and it's only 8:20 right now, so there's plenty of time for drinking if I choose to do so.

For a complete listing of awards, check out the index page, there's a link up there somewhere.

Tim and I were hungry last night, but we didn't have the energy to go anywhere. Besides, my car was dead, and Tim had a headlight out. Combined, we got $6 together, and bought some Coors Light and drank it all. Went to bed at 2. College life is great.

Dan Johnson is my hero. We're going to hang out tonight, and do a Bell Run. It's been a while. It will be good.

Ryan Schumacher and I will be moving the Fat Ride to my current home. Poor car, it's been sitting all alone for the last few months in front of my old apartment building. No one has tried to break in, or if they did, my car ate them. Have you seen my baby? 72 Ford Galaxy. I tossed a rod in the engine, though, when Dan Johnson tried to moon Dan Howard while we were traveling at 40mph down Main Avenue from Smokey's. He got that ham pressed against the left backseat window, and that engine expired. It was a sad day, but it was funny to see Dan mooning someone. I don't know how Dan felt, though...

Speaking of Smokey's, if there's anyone out there interested in eating the 52, let me know. It's my turn. Bryon Wirtz did it. Dan Johnson did it. It's my time.

Ok, that's all for now, I need to get out of here. Have a nice evening, more tomorrow, I'll tell you about tonights dreams if I have any. They're usually strange, anyhow.

October 31, 2001

Hopefully some of you reading this are new people, not just the same four people who read it before we sent this address out on the list serve. So, one full day has passed since Tim, Rick, and my little run-in with the police. I called them again and asked if I could at least know how many cops were on duty that night between 11pm and 7am, and again I was told I would have to talk to the chief of police. I politely declined when they started to transfer me, and I think I hung up on him before he answered. Can't anyone talk for themselves over there? Anyhow, if you don't know about the situation I'm talking about, check it out in my October 30 entry, it's long and you can't miss it. So, Rick is writting a story for The Spectrum, and we're going to be big celebrities. I can't wait. I wonder if we'll get a reply from the chief, that would be fun. I wonder if it'll piss off the other cops who were there. I bet they felt special that night, wonder how special they're going to feel when they see their little story in the paper. Maybe they can't read. I don't know. I could give them a little picture, but I'd get arrested. Ok, I'm not really that way, I'm just typing some of that to be funny. Am I funny? Find out in tomorrows entry, ha ha.

Marching band will end in a matter of days, and tomorrow brings the annual banquet. I'm excited to be there, and see who wins all of these fabled awards. I am a rookie in the marching band, but a veteran to the actual Gold Star Band, so it should be a good time being there. I want to know if anyone is getting that award for puking during GSB parties. I know a few people who are in the running. Wish I could sway the board of directors on that one, but we'll see if they use their good judgement. Tomorrow, a new portion of the site will be up with some of my favorite GSB pictures from this year and the past. I have a few of them. I hope you'll enjoy.

Tim is pissed at me today. We had to ride three people in his Ranger. That thing isn't meant to hold three people. I had to sit in the middle and shift gears. My legs are too big, and they kept rubbing against the steering wheel. Tim couldn't turn right when my leg was in the way, and he got mad. This is just another reason why I need to lose weight. Man, speaking of that, this weekend, I was weighed at Guard. I weigh 203 lbs. That's pretty impressive, my top before was in December of 1999, when I hit a record 201. I'm fat. Not Dan Johnson fat, just fat.

Well, I see the time is about 6pm, and I should be at Combo rehearsal soon. More to come, possibly more tonight, I'm feeling inspired right now...

October 30, 2001

It's funny that I started out yesterdays commentary (see down a couple hundred lines) with a little bit about parking tickets, because everything I write about next is pertaining to parking tickets, too. Read on, and enjoy. Everything I say is true, and I'm not fabricating the story at all.

My faith in the police dwindles as we take each breath of air. I've had some pretty stupid things happen to me in my life, and I've seen some stupid things done to my friends, but I gotta tell you, nothing is going to quite match what I saw last night in the T2 parking lot across the street from the very school in which my two roommates attend classes. You may have heard the story from Rick or Tim, but I gotta get this on the net and I need to get this story out my system fast before I blow up from the anger I feel toward a terrible usage of authority by our own NDSU Campus Police.

Let me start out by saying that universities and schools all need campus police forces, especially in a large school like NDSU. We've got 10,000 people running around this place a day, and to be honest, I would go as far as to say that the 11 officers assigned to our school isn't enough. The Fargo Police Department assists us, though, and we maintain peace throughout the campus, as most of us are well behaved, responsible, within-our-heads people. We don't see a lot of stuff posted in the school newspaper about crime, or even speeding tickets or anything more serious, maybe a break-in once in a while and/or the occasional vandalized car. I don't hear a lot of bad things about the cops here, and they don't really hassle anyone. Aside from the complaint that our music building is locked by the cops too early on Sunday (which they regularly do, for some reason), this is all I hear about at the music education building.

Now, everyone talks at least once or twice about the parking situation here at SU. 50% of us have had parking tickets at least once, and many of us have had more than two (or three or four...) It's hard to get parking passes around here, you could sell them on the black market, and they're kind of costly, really, to us poor college students. It's cold out in the winter, and we don't want to walk three hundred miles to our respective classes. You get the idea. The Ticket Nazi comes around, along with the campus police, and tickets your car, and you bitch and moan for three minutes, then toss the ticket in your car, and forget about it. I'll pay that later. Sure you will.

Anyhow, usually, the cops stop ticketing around 4pm. People are leaving the school for the day, and there's pretty much no demand for parking, so the cops leave the people alone who park in the lots at night. As long as they're gone by the morning when school resumes for the day, we're alright. It seems to make sense this way in all of our eyes, and we're all happy one day with that. So, imagine to my surprise when my phone rang last night at 11:30, and it was Rick, asking me if I had any money he could borrow. I ask why, he tells me the cops are issuing him a parking ticket for being parked in T2 without a pass, and they're going to tow him if he doesn't pay. He says he needs $61. I ask how many tickets he has, he says two ourstanding for $26, one for the current parking violation for $10, and $25 for an impound fee. I ask if we pay the $36 to take care of the tickets, can we bypass the whole impound fee. He says no, the cops won't let him. I tell him that's a load of shit (direct quote), but he maintains that there's nothing he can do, and that we need to get there soon. Angry, I get the money, and ask Tim to drive his truck. My car has a bad alternator at the moment, so I have to plug it in every night to ensure I have enough power for the following days driving usage. So, we get the bread, get in the truck, and head over to T2 to pay the fine and get the hell out of there. It was late, it was cold, and we wanted to get to bed.

We drive over there, and Tim parks. We get out and I present the money to Rick. Two cop cars are sitting there. One is a cop car, one is a state vehicle, with no police markings. We stand there and stand there for quite a few minutes, trying to stay warm by telling jokes and smoking cigarettes. Where in the hell is the tow truck, we wonder. Rick tells us that the cops were sort of angry with him, but he didn't know why. The situation presented was the Rick got done practicing, came outside to leave, and the cops were sitting there behind his car, as if waiting for him. The cops told him why, Rick got a little mad, turned, and walked back to the music building, saying, "Thanks, goodbye." Sure, a little sarcasm, but no threats or anything like that. The cops looked in his car, we're not sure why. Maybe they wanted to find a gun. Maybe they wanted to find some drugs. But, Rick is a good clean guy with character, and they see none because there is none. Anyhow, the cops are apparently mad about Rick's lack of respect for their understood authority, so out of no where while we're waiting in the cold, all three cops come out of their cars, and one starts yelling at us. He says, "I heard what you said, and it's not funny. We can haul you off to jail for saying that." Saying what? What the hell is this guy ranting and raving about? None of seem to know. Rick just nods, and says nothing, fearful that if he says anything, he might get arrested by this guy. The cop says, "What, can't you talk?" Rick nods again. The cop, in a genuinly cocky tone says, "I didn't think so", and walks back to his car. He's perhaps satisfied that we're put in our places. I don't know.

The unmarked car being driven by the night supervisor (Officer William MacDonald, we believe) circles the T2 lot for some unknown reason. He comes back, and all the cops get out again, and we assume we're going to be verbally ambused once again, but this time the cops say, "Who's the owner of this truck", pointing to Tim's truck. Tim says that he is, and the cop says, "Did you know your vehicle is towable, you have outstanding tickets, too?" The cop starts mixing words around, and basically corners Tim, boasting that Tim "admitted having overdue parking tickets". The cop is smiling, and Tim simply says, "I didn't think I would get towed just for coming to help my friend out in his situation." The cops tells Tim that he needs $51, or he will now also get towed. Tim says he has no money on him. The cops tell him he's going to be towed. By now, it's around 12:05am, we're freezing our asses off, and we just want to get out of there and home to bed. I grab a phone and call Chaus and Mike, and get a 12-hour loan from Mike to get Tim out of his situation. When I get back, the tow truck still isn't there. What's taking so long? The cops remain in the parking lot, and we keep talking and smoking. A car speeds by at about 25-30 MPH (the speed limit is 15), and no one budges. Another car speeds by three minutes late, but I guess if he runs a pedestrian over, it's alright since the city of Fargo and NDSU are going to make some money tonight. Another car comes by with a headlight out, and that's also alright, if someone is crossing the street and the driver doesn't see that person because of the missing light, that student will never walk again, but by God, the cops are going to make their quota this month.

Finally, a tow truck comes to us. It's now 12:20am and we've been out here for over 40 minutes in the cold, while the cops sit in their warm cars. We've since stopped Tim's truck because he doesn't have much gas left, and besides,the cops might find that we're a flight risk with the truck on. We don't want to get in trouble for that since Rick is already in trouble for something none of us know about. The cops watch as all fines are paid and as receipts are drawn. With that all said and done, Tim sarcastically wishes the cops a good night, which I don't think they even deserved. They begin driving out of the parking lot, and we find that Tim's battery is dead. We try to signal to the cops to come back and maybe rectify everything by just helping us and giving us a jump, but they both just drive off into the night. Thanks a lot, protectors of peace and the students of NDSU.

So, that's the story of the night. There are a lot of questions that came to me as we thought more about this. First of all, why were the cops so cocky? Who made them God's gift to the world? Was Rick in the wrong, sure, he was. Outstanding parking tickets are a no-go. I've been towed before for it, I know. But, what was with last night at 11:30? I've never known anyone to get a ticket that late at night at SU, especially if there's isn't at all a demand for parking. What justifies a ticket at that hour? Obviously, the cops were looking for someone to bust on and make a quick hit, and there was Rick's car sitting there. How convenient. Oh, and to add to the conveniance since they didn't seem to like our attitude and conversation, why not check Tim's truck, and they take advantage of the situation. I bet they were laughing their way to the damned bank. Why not nail him, there's another notch in our October Parking Ticket six-shooter. Why didn't they come back when they saw us trying to get their attention for car problems? Thanks for the help, guys, aren't you supposed to help students out? If you were able to have three cops just sit there in the parking lot for an hour, I wouldn't imagine they had anywhere important to go after they were through with us, why not maybe help us and get us on our way? Maybe they wanted to get us stuck there overnight so they could ticket the truck again. I mean, it was only October 29, they still had two days to get over the goal. I don't know.

October 29, 2001

I just got a parking ticket. The Ticket Nazi put it on my car as I walked outside, and I thanked him. He didn't smile. That's bad customer service.

So it's been a long time since I added anything to this little area, alomst three weeks. Since then, NDSU football has been taken out of playoff contention, the Broncos have slipped by losing a crap-load of games, and my job has gotten increasingly stranger and stragner. They fired the day manager because they couldn't afford him anymore, then they promoted the night manager to assistant general manager- I would imagine that position carries a little more on the money side. Strange? Bruce is probably pretty happy about all of that. Anyhow, now we don't have a night manager anymore, therefor, no porter usually on weekday nights, and no porter still on Sunday days. We're providing less converiance to the customers here, but we're always getting yelled at that it's out faults. At the front desk, we get raped on a daily basis for this, but that's ok if management slips and can't get anyone hired to help the deal. I don't know what to say, but if things don't get better, some webmaster is going to be looking for a new job real soon.

The Get-Laid Party was a blast this year. I drank a lot and got some kisses from my friends. In Sara Dau's last take on the annual party, she did very well. I was happy. I got laid. We all did. End of story. (Hee hee)

You know who's super kewl? Jesse. Funny stuff, good freshman, he'll make good Gold Star Band material for years to come. Don't transfer. I'll follow you and kill you.

I got land-sharked by Michelle Beyer and Sara Donat as I played bass guitar in a funk/rock/fusion combo that played for the NDSU Choir Festival pizza dinner one night. I didn't miss a note. Impressive? I think so. Oh, and it was nice to get bit on the ass by two hot girls.

Starting a rock and blues band. Tim wants to call it the Subdudes. What do you think? Do tell, we're interseted. More to come on that later.

I never did hear back from the Fargo PD about riding in the back of trucks. Does anyone know Fargo law around here? Oh, also, my source pertaining to quotas on speeding tickets has since told me that there is no suggested number either. So, my backing is pretty much null and void. Congratulations, Dan, you win this one.

I ran into my sister up in Grand Forks, she made fun of me and my school for losing to her alum. I punched her in the face. Well, I thought about it, anyhow. You could imagine how funny it would be.

More in a few...

October 9, 2001

I haven't written in over a month. I am a pile. Not quite as much as Dan Johnson is, but I am indeed a pile. Anyhow, so much to talk of, both on a serious note and a not so serious note. I will do my best to give you all I've got, which really isn't all that much.

So, we just got back from our pathetic showing at the Sioux Suck Center in Grand Forks. All things considered, we did really deserve to lose that game when it came down to the game being played. How many over-thrown passes did Gorder have to throw? How many times were we going to try that option play or that dish-off to Gordon, which UND stopped time and time again? How badly could the Bison offensive line play? Could our secondary defend a sixth-grade midget team in wheel chairs? I don't know, but all of those things considered, we all should've went home pretty angry at our thundering herd. However, what really greased me the most were those UND fans. I was warned how bad they had gotten. I tried to think that perhaps, just perhaps they might cheer for their own team instead of take all of the time in the world to heckle the opposing team. I mean, do they do this shit to every team they play? If they did, we could form a coalition to burn down their university, hypothetically. Let me cite the ways that I was appauled over behavior in Grand Forks.

1) Making fun of the band. What the hell is that all about? We do the exact same thing as the UND band, but you make fun of us and not them? Let me see, what did they say to us? "Nice feather". Yeah, well, I'm going to shove that feather up your ass, Sioux Crew. Or, oh, wait- are we supposed to call you the stupid drunk alcoholic frat boy and sorority girl trash-talking bitch crew?

2) Telling us to go home to Fargo, since Grand Forks is just so damned kewl. Ok, it takes no rocket scientist to let the world know that Grand Forks licks. The people there aren't all that smart, either. I mean, when the city gives it's citizens the opportunity to decide whether to spend tax money on a dike for a river the always floods, and sometimes takes out the entire city, or build a big grain silo that doubles up as a football stadium for the University of Englestad, and they choose the dome. Don't worry, the river will never flood again and ruin thousands of peoples lives by taking out their homes and their belongings, bringing pain and heartbreak to all who is in it's path. Good thinking. My response to the ding-dong in the UND student section with his little sound-raising funnell and his gay green shirt- "I'd rather go home to Fargo then spend any more time in your shitty shite trash town town of Grand Forks". Next question, please.

September 6, 2001

So, last night Dan and I and various others engaged in all sorts of arguments ranging from Fargo Police Quotas (whether they exist or not) to whether we should call "hate crimes" hate crimes. There was an argument earlier in the evening about how all new Americans should be able to speak English, or they should go back to their former country. There was a debate on whether the media went overboard on President Bush's young girls trying to use fake ID's to get a beer in Texas. Well, you know what, to clean up the slate (since Dan and I disagreed on pretty much all of those topics listed above), I don't hate Dan, and though we do argue all the time over this crap, he really is pretty good guy at heart (and stomache). He's my boy, and we should all treat him ok and not egg him on. Discussions and arguements should only be for the sake of arguing- not for the sake of pissing someone off, Lord knows people have done it to me.

I've been told by a source that Fargo cops in fact do not have a quota. But, they do have something along the lines of "strongly encouraged number of arrests and tickets per month". I can't confirm whether that's true or not, but if it is true, I guess we can't call it a quota since it's not a set number that one has to adhere to each month with the possibility of a good spanking if they don't. But for the sake of debate, I'd say that's a pretty good trophy for me to be carrying around in this ongoing arguement. (The source of this fact is a person who has a relative on the FPD Force)

I called the Fargo Police today (man, this is getting to be an old topic) and asked about laws regarding riding in the backs of pick-up trucks. Get this- the desk cop took my name and number and said he's get back to me on that. Why do I suddenly feel not so safe anymore? Just another reason that I question our police forces credibility anymore.

Now, maybe it's just me and the rest of the NFL world, but don't you think these referees are getting just a little bit greedy? They want the sort of pay that baseball and basketball refs get per year. Well, guess what- NFL work as a referee is a part-time job- I mean, like one Sunday per week. I never had a part-time job that paid $1500 per game on your first day on the job, and up to $4500 per game for seasoned veterans. I suppose an arguement can be put against me using players salaries, too, but you guys know how I feel about that, too, I think they're all grossly over-paid, as well. But, at the very least, the NFL players work out and practice all week, too. It's (at the very least) a full-time job. Refs, they just show up Sunday morning, put on their stripes, and go out there and make bad calls. Randy Moss doesn't give 100% on ever play, and refs are blind as bats. Neither of them really deserve as much money as they currently get. Ok, that's it on this before I stop watching football altogether (as I did basketball and baseball when they went on strike).

Speaking of baseball, though I refuse to watch it on TV, I do follow the highlights, and I see that Curt Schilling won 20 games last night for Arizona. Crazy, they have him and Randy Johnson striking everyone out, plus Mr. Gonazlez hitting baseballs out of the park- I like these cats. Plus, they're all class acts, too, nice guys who give to charity and are sort of funny and whatnot. Gonzalez has one up on the other two- he looks pretty damned funny, too.

I bet Judge Thomas Jackson is pretty pissy about the Microsoft thing- the US Department of Justice has decided to not break the company up. Great, just when we thought Bill Gates wasn't going to take over the world, he buys them out and gets the ruling overturned. Wonderful. We're doomed.

You know who I think is pretty kewl? Erika Beseler. She's just kewl. She has a good train of thought and is fun to have good conversation with. She has lots of insight and I just think that's neat for an 18 or 19 year old. Her brother of course has been here for a while. I was afraid of him on my first semester, he always looked like he was going to rip off my skin and eat if for an early-afternoon snack. Then, out of no where, he ended up being pretty neat, I mean, he even joined in on the fine Asian joke scheme, which I'm proud to say he pushes all around the music department- a charter member of the clan, if you will. Good for him. He will go far with those skills.

Chaus's ankle looked like a dead animal today. He went and saw a trainer. They gave him a brace. Now, he's ok. They put Humpty Dumpty back together again, and all is well in fairy-tail land.

Tell me Michelle Beyer isn't cute? I mean, there're a lot of cute girls up there that I could talk about (and everyone will get their chance on Chris and Dano's website), but isn't she just cute and stuff? Erin Handy is cute, too. Dan can sing praises about that. I'll give him the honor. How about Sara Donat? Oh yeah, she's cute. Funny thing is all of these girls are taken. (Sigh) Ok, back to reality, besides, I need to leave a few of these cute girls for future referance in these segments.

Nothing else to get on the page today, perhaps I'll have better entries tomorrow instead of all my goo on todays news. Good day...

September 4, 2001

I had a dream one night that Dan and I got in an argument, and we started chasing eachother around the room with knives. Don't even ask who won, I woke up before I could see the results. Anyhow, what does this all mean? I had a dream about waking up in bed with a girl once (actually, more than once, I'm a sick-o like that), and soon after, I was dating her. Hmmm. Then again, when I was four, I had a dream that I had a flower growing out of my stomache. Thank God that never came true. Well, perhaps it's one of those hit and miss gigs, you know? So, if you see Dan and I chasing each other around the lounge with knives (butter knives, steak knives, pocket knives, whatever), don't be surprised. Odds are, I will kill him, and we will all eat well for months.

I marched in my first game ever with the NDSU GSMB. It was fun, interesting, and strange. I witnissed two guys beat up the other teams mascot. Actually, it was Dan and Mike Vacha. I mean, they really beat the hell out of that thing. Mike even whacked it and stabbed it with a flag pole. No wonder kids are shooting eath other in school. Anyhow, the marching thing was ok, except I ended up in the wrong place during the pre-game, and there was a saxophone player looking at me like she was going to say, "Get the hell out of here, THIS IS MY SPOT!" Well, thank goodness she didn't, or I would've broke out in tears on the field with my famous power cry. It must be a Korean thing. Playing was fun, and we beat the tar out of the other team. Mission accomplished. Now, just 3 more months of this. Let's see if it gets old. I'll keep you posted.

There's this girl I like. That is all.

My car is the biggest piece of crap in the world. Let me count everything that's wrong with it. The alternator is pretty much gone, so that takes care of my battery. I'm the only person in America who has to plug his car in at night every night, even in the summer. The water pump is pretty much done for, so the car runs pretty hot all the time. There's no stereo because the previous owner took it out, along with the speakers. There's no lock on the drivers side door, so I have to unlock the passenger side every time and reach in and unlock the bastard. The heat shield under the car was coming off, and Dan rode in the front seat the other day, so it was dragging like crazy for several blocks. People were laughing at me as I drove and made a butt-load of noise in my white-trashmobile. Word to the wise- but American. I hate Mazda.

I'm tired of all this Condit garbage on my TV, radio, and computer. Can't they just conduct an investigation without TV convering his every move. Look, here we are on CNN, a special report, where Gary Condit is taking a piss on a car. Let's go talk to him. Hey, Mr. Condit, where are you hiding Chandra's body parts? What, no comment? Wait, come back! Get it off my TV, and get it off now until you arrest him. They, make a fool out of him, he'll deserve it if he's guilty. Until then, leave him alone.

I should apologize for the comments I made about Erin Handy and her little behind on Saturday, thanks for Chaus, Dan, and their big fat mouths. I love you, Erin, really, and if you weren't going to marry Steve, I would gladly do the deed for you. Anyhow, though the comment wasn't meant to be mean or bad (I guess if you look into it, it's a pretty nice comment...sort of), so remember, I'm just a teddy bear, really. Great. I still feel like a giant ass. So...

I now live in a house with Rick and Tim (aka Wolfman Jack). I like the house and my new room mates, it's all good. Rick goes to school here and is a Latin percussion man, which wins my heart after a nice tenure in San Antonio in the gigging world. Tim is alright, but when there's a full moon, you better believe I'll be running far away, I wouldn't want my blood all sucked out. Besides that whole blood drinking thing, he's a good guitar player, and I think we're going to be next Nirvana. Rick on drums, Tim on guitar and vocals, and me on bass. Watch for our new album. Alternative is making a comeback. Ok, now stop laughing at us.

So, everyone went home this weekend for the holiday, including 97% of the freshmen. What a drag. We wanted to have a nice housewarming party, and everyone was out of town on a three-day weekend. I mean, you guys all just moved out of those houses, why go back so soon? Well, it's ok, we'll have many more chances to party down now that we don't have a break until Thanksgiving. Now, that's a LONG TIME, my friends.

Dan is sitting next to me, and he's amazed that I'm still writting on this page. I think he's pretty swell, though. Fat, too.

That's all I've got for now, check back for daily updates. Love you all...

Dan Johnson
Chris Hanson
Chew both of us out at the same time

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